How to Beat Rejection

Nobody likes to be rejected.  Whether in relationships, business or in a creative enterprise.  It can damage your self-esteem, affect your future work or relationships and even how others judge you.

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Writers have a special relationship with rejection.  When I first began as a writer (before email) and sent a manuscript off to publishers you could usually tell when it was the beginning of the month by the thud of a rejected manuscript dropping through the letterbox.  I remember one time I had a manuscript rejected by return of post!  As a writer, more than most creatives, you have to develop a very thick skin pretty early on.

When I was teacher, (I used to run a Master’s program in Creative Writing), students would fear rejection and I would tell them that it’s a badge of honour.  Firstly it means you have actually completed a novel, not everyone who starts a book finishes it. Secondly you found the courage to send it out for appraisal.  OK they didn’t like it and you probably didn’t get back a letter explaining why, but was it sent to the right person to start with?  What can you learn from the experience?

It’s pretty much the same with relationships.  The reason many relationships fail is because one doesn’t apply the same logic to ‘love’ as your manuscript.

Is this the right person for me?  What do they like?  What have we got in common?
What have they published (or dated) before, how did that work out?  Are they open to discussion?  Do they go out there looking for new talent or wait for it to come to them?  Is there a writers’ conference you could go to meet agents and editors in person and pitch to?  Does that even work?  What if they don’t like the look of you? Or hate your pitch?  What then?

Matching is a science.  Match.com is successful because they use an algorithm to ‘match’ your needs and desires to another person and if they coincide enough on the scale, then the chances are you’ll like each other and form a bonding.  Well, you have to do that with your creative work too and the specific people you might pitch to.

rejection-picture-quotesYou have spend months, sometimes years working on your book, with luck you will have also shown it to first readers and taken onboard their feedback and made changes.  Believe me, if you think you can write a book that doesn’t need changes you really aren’t ready to show it anyone yet.  A novel needs a collaborator, that reader to make it real.  We aren’t just talking about errors of punctuation or spelling.  We are talking about whether a character is convincing, or a given situation works.  I can cite many instances when a readers input has made my work better, from the angle of a gunshot wound, to how a girl might react to a specific situation or even what they are wearing or might eat.  This is important, because if your reader cares enough to worry about a detail, he or she has already accepted the character is real.

It’s tougher to sell a novel now.  You will see agents on-line who will say just send me five pages.  I know this is true because my former editor would reject a book from reading just one page and if it didn’t grab her she was only too happy to reject as there would be several hundred a month to get through, every month and with the best will in the world, your work has to be very special indeed if it can cut through an agents or editor’s wall of indifference.  Who could blame them?

So it is incredibly important to read the guidelines.  It is just as hard to get an agent as a publisher and the Writer’s Handbook will tell you that few, very few, have a door open and even there they will reject 95% of them because they don’t match their tastes or requirements.  Still writing Vampire books?  Didn’t you know that is so over?

To avoid rejection you will have to do a great deal of research.

You have to find the agent who likes your genre (check their website and they will gladly tell you what they dislike, what they want from you and follow the submission guides to the letter. Don’t waste their time).

Or find the publisher that needs a fresh take on an old subject or more rarely, something unique.  It’s one of the anomalies of publishing that everyone wants something new but no one wants something completely different, as they don’t know how to pitch it to their sales people.

Even more important than what you have written now, is your presence on social media.  Got one million followers on Facebook or Instagram, they will probably come to you.  If you are an old curmudgeon like me who loathes Facebook and doesn’t follow anyone anywhere – publishers and agents will pass you over, even if you have written something terrific.  It’s a changed world.  If you aren’t shaping the world around you, they aren’t going to do it for you.  Marketing budgets have been slashed.
The truth is, it is easier to reject than accept.  It’s not them, it’s you.

So now you know. Treat your great novel with respect.  If you get advice, act on it. Revise, rethink, re-title, sometimes editors can just hate a title. Work at your opening lines, check there really is a plot and that characters are ‘real’ and have clearly visible different identities. If you love a particular novel by someone – ask yourself why does that work so well? What was so special about it that it got across the minefield of the selection process? I used to say to my students you are here to read as well as write. Was Gone Girl a success because of who she knew, or simply because it was a terrific tightly plotted pacy thriller? (It’s the latter if you must know).

Applying dating techniques to find acceptance.  (Er, I’m not talking Tinder here, as multiple submissions are still frowned upon).

Every writer has been rejected, some many times.  Each scar is a badge of honour.  If you are lucky enough to get a useful comment, heed it, it might prevent the next editor from dismissing your work.

Remember this, rejection is just a stop on the eventual path to success.  Or as my ex says – another door stop on the way to oblivion …. she’s such a joker.

© Sam North December 2015
author of Diamonds – The Rush of ’72 and Another Place to Die: Entime Chronicles
Sam also joint edits hackwriters.com

To the Angels who have left us this year

For all those Angels who have gone home this year this one is for you and all those you left behind.

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We will never forget you, but to have know you, cared for you and had the pleasure of loving you we are blessed. Forever in our hearts souls and minds, you will be missed.

It seems we ahve been losing so many stars lately way too many of the greats. I not sure why they have been called home all together or why they all mostly died from cancer related deaths, but our (my) generation are going fast and we will miss them.

Let us keep in our heart and souls all those who lifts us up, made us smile, gave us truth that made our world better a solute of gratitude. To anyone you ahve lost this year, remember them well for that is how they continue on, through you because of you.

They have gone home to the divine energy of the cosmos, we were gifted their presence and for that we will always have a smile.

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www.daniandlizzy.com 

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To my Mama Jo who left me February 13th 2015 at the age of 95, thank you Mama you will always be with me.

You leave behind lives you have guided, spirits you have uplifted, and hearts you have filled.

Now it is time for you to be at peace in a place of divine love and loving harmony.

YOUR FOREVER LOVING DAUGHTER SARA

 

Coming Home to my Divine Purpose.

I have recently been going through a soul cleans with Lidia Antunes-Frederico, she has cleaned out past imprints that were stopping me from receiving and growing. It has been such a wonderful experience I HAD TO SHARE IT.

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She took me to my childhood to see my inner child, find a happy childhood experience she says, well I found some, but they were always of me alone, but not lonely. I realize that my existence has always been to fly, I come from the sky the universe and my soul spirit and heart are there. As a child I played with dead people, their energy and thought nothing of it, I flew up into the universe with complete ease, I saw things and counselled people from a very young age and I always knew because of my knowing ness. I was soul free and with divine love never alone.

But; I grew up in a world of hate, judgement, fear and lack of soul knowledge. My job has always to be an awakener of souls of other awakeners, from the beginning of my time that has been my role. To show the souls how to connect, to show them their possibilities, to show them the path for which they are meant to walk on, it has been my many life time roles.

But, the world became dark thunderous loud and disconnected. The flight or fight mode became all too prevalent and people lost their belief in a wonderful life and soul connection. One of the things I have not enjoyed is feeling the soul pain of others, feeling their hopelessness, and with time and many life times I too began to feel that way and because of it lost my way. I became disconnected to my soul, my heart became painful to feel, my spirit broken and my mind filled with confusion, fear hate loss and loneliness. I was lost.

In 1994 a wonderful women freed me of 172 past lifetimes, of a pattern that was blocking me from embracing my purpose my spirit. It was a wonderful experience to be reborn, to discover me, not my past patterning. I felt my heart grow once again filled with love, my soul had a voice once again and connected me to my divine home, my spirit could fly again and my mind just let go, let go, let go. I was me, the me I was meant to be, the me who was free.

Then it was decided that I needed to be grounded, to connect with this earth and feel its pain, oh so painful so heavy too loud, it hurt me it bought me back down and I fought to be free again. It has been 9 years now, I have learnt what I needed to know from being grounded, but it is my time to fly again, but I had forgotten how. I was a phoenix always being able to go and get me knowledge and bring it back, but I could not fly anymore.

This where Lidia comes in, through her working with me, she removed some elements that were still deep in me and stopping me from receiving. Since she has done that it has opened an appreciation for my work and being for which I am not accustomed too. I am suddenly heard and seen and acknowledge, normally that is me advocating for everyone else for that is what ‘Self Discovery Radio” does. I am receiving beautiful notes from people I have interviewed, being put in the books in acknowledgment, they are posting my stations link and logo for others to find on their sites, and becoming supported in my work bringing you people like Lidia to your attention, and I have to say, it is so nice to be seen and heard.

In one of my meditations of Lidia’s it took me home, I have been for so long now be begging to go home to the universe to once again connect my soul to source, but I had lost my wings and how to fly. In her mediation she took me back but more to where I belong now and in what role. Oh I am so in love with my purpose, my very purpose in being, I see my role and now because of been set free again I am now understanding even more my divinity.

downloadI saw a tree a golden crystal tree willowing its branches down to earth, each branch with my love and divine energy on feeding the souls who will now be the awakeners, giving them my love and strength to fuel the world with love and vision. I am in a crystal realm filled with colourful fractal crystal diamonds creating a home in which to base myself on, I am home in the universe connecting to the awakeners and I am free of the thunder of earth, this is my place, this is my purpose, this is my divine role, to serve those who guide others to freeing their souls and connecting with the divine source of home.

As I dance in freedom with the colours of the Northern Lights and the Angels of life, I feel the universal love, I feel the divine energy, I feel my presence I know my existence. I now can freely give myself to me work, supporting the awakeners the liberators, the guiders of spirit heart and soul and know that the universe will provide for my needs for I am doing what I was put on earth to do, be the awakener of awakeners and the work they do.

I know I need to dance again, I need music back in my life, I need to fly in my sky and dance amongst the energy beams and paly with the Angels and feel my knowingness again. I need to trust my freedom and the people who come into my life, as a friend, an awakener, or as an advocate, we need to support each other, for we all have a divine role and in that we find our peace, our joy, and our reason for being.

Thank you Lidia for setting me free, thank you everyone for believing in me and for acknowledging my purpose in supporting you and the divine work you do, we are in this together and united we rise and energies this world into all its beauty and glory.

Sara Troy

Owener-Opperator-Host of Self Discovery Radio

selfdiscoverywisdom.com

For Lidias shows with me please do tune in and set your soul free

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15/50+ Self Discovery Radio hosts Christmas message.

Self Discovery Hosts wish you all a Merry Christmas filled with Compassion Love and Joy. 

images (1) Every year we bring you seasonal messages of love and good will from our current hosts, some have not been able to but send their seasonal  messages for love and joy anyway. 

We know it is a time of busyness and stress, so make sure you take time to breathe and enjoy the moments of the season.  In the end it is about the joy of sharing, giving, receiving, enjoying and togetherness that brings us the GIFT of loving memories, for that in the end is the Gift of the Present.

May your joys be met, may laughter fill your table and may your heart be filled with love that lifts spirits into divine joy. From all of us to you and yours we wish you a Wonderful Merry Christmas and Festive Season to one and all faiths, races, sexs ,colours and creeds for in the need for love we are ONE.

                TUNE IN HERE DECEMBER 22ND TO JANUARY 4TH

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Sara Troy your producer and host of Choose Positive Living and Their Story Matters, and Positive Round table and Saras View of Life shows.meet-sara-troy

Bill Mackie and Suma Nathan or Wise Health shows. wise-health

JulieAnne O’Connor from Transforming Relationships transforming-relationships  

Vicki McLeod from Everyday Happiness everyday-happiness

Lynnis Woods-Mullins from the Wellness Journey new-wellness-journey-show

          An Abundant Hopeful, Positive, and Vibrant 2016 to you all. 

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C15/50 Tabytha the Traveling Spirit

Choose Positive Living with Sara Troy and her guest Tabytha Towe aired from December 15th/15

59560_10151242528983458_1929681617_nBorn a free spirit and a curious butterfly, Tabytha just had to travel it was in her blood and would feed her heart spirit and soul. Today she is sharing her wonderful adventures with us and what she has learned from her travels and the many countries she has lived in and visited.

Tabytha is Canadian born and raised but first spread her wings at 19 with her first solo trip to Cape Town South Africa where I used to live. Here is a short list of the countries.

South Africa. USA. Cuba. Australia. New Zealand. England. Puru. South America. Costa Rica. China. Hong Kong. Cambodia. Vietnam,  Europe. UK.  and so many more and even more to come.

Born a free-spirited wanderlust who is seeking the world one step at a time. There is not enough time that can be spent in one place or another, but the value of which you get from it every time, is priceless. Meeting new people, discovering natural wonders and beauty, trying different cuisine, being lost in translation, getting lost and then finding yourself or where you needed to be again, realizing that the world is a vast place that can be so cruel and big, but that we are all just a small speck of this world and can be kind to it, learn from it and each other, be kind to each other, let go and move on or decide to stay, one life but infinite moments.

As Ghandi said best ” live as if you’ll die tomorrow, learn as if you’ll live forever.”


              TUNE IN HERE FOR INSTANT LISTENING NOW

For mobile/tablets  you can download free apps here:  http;//soundcloud.com/mobile


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Africa, Cape Town, Toronto.

Tabytha is a  wild wanderlust Chinese-English Canadian born free-spirited girl frolicking the globe as much as possible.

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China wall with father bro and sis.

12336184_10156318181870581_82340528_nCurrently living and working in Toronto at The Drake Hotel www.thedrakehotel.ca and working on her first publication “Going Postal Cocktails: international & Original Recipes”

www.goingpostalcocktails.com being developed as we speak STAY TUNED 

facebook.com/tabytha.towe

tabythat.gpc@gmail.com  

                             
INSTAGRAM@tabybooboo.com

More on your host Sara Troy choose-positive-living

COCKTAILS FOR ANY FESTIVE SEASON FROM TABYTHA 

12358193_10156324482310581_1311170047_n“Smoke on the Water”

1.50 oz Islay Scotch

1.25oz Amaro Averna {can get at liquor store}

.25oz Cynar (artichoke liquer}

4x drops of Xocolate Mole bitters {Bittermens or Scrappys brand, buy at a speciality or cocktail store}

 

“Santas’ nightcap

1.25os Rye {American preferably but Canadian great too}

.75oz Brandy {Du Jardin cheap}

.50oz Amaro Sibillia

.25oz Clove syrup {boil cup of water, add a cup of granulated white sugar, add a half cup of cloves, and stir together. Let sit, then bottle and keep in fridge after cooling, make sure the syrup is thick, not too watery.} Peel zest off a lemon, use the skin side {not pith} and squeeze the oils out over the drink

Both of these drinks can be served up {no ice in glass} in a coupette or in a rocks glass with ice if preferred. The first cocktail is a smokey finish, second is booze forward tasting, stir both over ice for at least 30 seconds before straining into desired glass

” Monkey Breakfast”

1.50oz Havana Club 3 year rum {blanco}

.50oz Banana Liquor {Bols}

1oz Buttermilk

.25oz Maple Syrup shake together over ice 30 seconds, strain and pour over fresh ice. Garnish with dehydrated Banana Chips and add 3x dashes of Reagans Bitters this is a thicker, fun and sweeter cocktail, {dessert} not so boozy tasting.

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