18-05 Living in My Own Expectation

January 25, 2018February 13, 2018Self Discovery Wisdom Podcast 2 Comments

Sara Troy on Sara’s View of Life, on air from January 30th.

One has to step outside of one’s life and look at it from the outside in, to find out why one is so lost. For the last thirty-seven and a half years, I have been trying to live up to everybody else’s expectations. I came to Canada a free spirit in Discovery of a new life and I met my husband here. I was a free spirit which he loved for a time, but I could not live up to his expectations what he wanted from me, what he needed from me wasn’t enough to feed him, he fell in love with me for one thing and then that wasn’t enough, so it came to an end when I no longer could live with a disappointment of us destroying each other.

My children each seek something different from me, I wasn’t the apple pie Mom but I was the Mom you brought home when someone who was lost in a conflict or in trouble. I was a home of afternoon teas, I was a home of a sanctuary. I was a mother who would pick my kids up, even in the middle of the night, even their friends, I was there to help them when they were in trouble I was there when they fell and helped them get back up, but yet still there were these needs enough, what about the ones I did not fill, the things that I let them down on, expectations I could not complete?

After my marriage came to an end I had a short time of rediscovery, then I met someone else and for a while/ Our Soul passion was very high then our soul’s intellectual passion took over and that was the end of the relationship, yet again could not fulfil what he desired.

I found my self with my radio interviewing, my calling, my voice, but yet again it is serving others, which I love and committed to, but not serving me with life’s needs and expectations, like security and sanctuary.

I needed to find my Joy for I was not in the enjoyment of life.

Feeling crushed underneath the weight of everyone’s disappointment of everyone’s unfulfilled expectations of me, I needed to leave the city. I needed to find myself in a place when no expectations were placed on me. This is what brought me to Toronto, I had the most wonderful time with my daughter who having been gone for so long it was wonderful to reconnect with her and rediscover each other. Because she was gone for so long, she saw me through different eyes, and I began to see me differently too. Unfortunately for me, she went to New Zealand for a few months, and that all came to an end, for after she was gone it was once again along with myself.

I realized the only expectations that I needed to have were those of my own, it wasn’t about my work or fulfilling everyone else’s need, it wasn’t about my family needs, it wasn’t about my friends or colleges needing something different from me, it was what do I need from me to fulfil me? What are my expectations for me? What are my desire for me, and who am I really from the inside out?

So stepping outside of one’s life and looking in, shows us things so much more clearly, I cannot be what everyone wants me to be, I can only be who I am and I need to be someone I want to be with. I am enough, I do enough, I contribute enough, and I have given enough and if it is not enough for everyone else that is their issue, not mine.

Step outside of your life and look in for it is a very good lesson for one’s self-discovery. I see what I need, what I need to do, who I need to be, who I need to serve, and that at this present moment it is me. For when I am fortitude, living in self-fulfilment, then I will be more able to serve my community without sacrificing me.

So now onto Victoria BC, close enough to my loved ones and friends, but far enough away to have my own independence. I will dedicate the next few months to writing my book and also be taking time to embrace me. I will still be interviewing and updating the site as I go, but not at my health or spirits cost.

I look forward to knowing me in this new arena, Toronto was a great awakener, but too cold and was only there to show me the real me. Now a warmer and smaller arena I look forward to getting to know me more.

I WILL SHARE THIS REVELATION HERE.

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C 17-51 The Ball of Human Kindness with Gabriella van Rij

December 12, 2017December 12, 2023Self Discovery Wisdom Podcast

Choose Positive Living with Sara Troy and her guest Gabriella van Rij, on air from December 19th on.

KINDNESS EXPERT, GABRIELLA VAN RIJ, DISCUSSES THE BALL OF HUMAN KINDNESS® CAMPAIGN

The ball of Human Kindness® movement began during November 2013 in Tulare, CA and has since made its way across the nation, making news wherever it goes. “The ball represents a child or adult someone that does not know how to fit in or someone that feels it cannot belong; to a group, family or even your spouse or partner,” says Gabriella van Rij [pronounced “Ray”], widely acclaimed kindness expert. “As a society, we have dropped the ball of Human Kindness®. Will you help me pick it up?”

A tireless speaker and consultant to students and school faculty, Gabriella has travelled across North America, speaking at school assemblies, corporations, and community halls, providing a practical approach for ending bullying and creating safer communities through her 4-step kindness program. “One moment, one person, one kindness—is all it takes to help someone go from a negative space to a positive place, BE the difference!

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GABRIELLA VAN RIJ [pronounced “Ray”] began her life as an orphan in Pakistan and without the determination and kindness of two strangers, she would not have been adopted into her new family. Today, Gabriella relentlessly champions the Kindness movement and tackles the social issues that plague our society. With a brave and compassionate voice, she speaks at businesses, universities, corporate training events, school assemblies, community centres, places of worship, and on network shows. Her uplifting talks to motivate, challenge, and provide the groundwork for lasting progress. She is an acclaimed author of three books. With All My Might is her mesmerizing memoir of one of the first cross-cultural adoptions. I Can Find My Might is part self-help, a part practical resource for students, parents, and educators. Gabriella’s personal experience creates a boots-on-the-ground approach to bullying and self-acceptance that is nothing short of magical. Watch Your Delivery is Gabriella’s third and latest book, based on one of her popular presentations of the same name. Gabriella’s #DareToBeKind campaign brings her bullying prevention program to schools, communities, and corporations across the US. Gabriella has been seen by millions on Dr. Phil, ABC, CBS, NBC, and FOX. She also writes for the Huffington Post and the NY Daily News. In 2017, Gabriella van Rij was elected as Secretary General of the World Kindness Movement.

facebook.com/daretobekindmovement

https://www.gabriella.global

Facebook @kindnessexpert

Twitter @gabriellavanrij.

Instagram: gabriellavanrij

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C 17-44a Beyond ADHD with Jeff Emmerson

October 23, 2017May 22, 2018Self Discovery Wisdom Podcast

Choose Positive Living with Sara Troy and her guest Jeff Emmerson. ON AIR FROM October 31st

Beyond ADHD weaves Jeff Emmerson’s personal story of his ADHD diagnosis, exploring along the way the latest medical, scientific, and societal explanations and tools for managing and living with the condition. Including interviews with a number of experts at the forefront of next-generation ADHD diagnostics and treatment, he questions the cookie-cutter way ADHD is commonly diagnosed and treated. Suggesting that the list of symptoms often used to identify ADHD can be attributed to many other disorders and conditions, he explores how and why ADHD diagnoses have increased by 50% in the last ten years.

Emmerson advocates a different approach to ADHD, arguing that it should be a diagnosis of exclusion rather than the other way around and that we must look past the label, recognizing that individual symptoms vary and treatment plans should be better tailored to the individual. He examines mental and behavioural issues from all sides, including the possibility that nurturing—rather than trying to alter or suppress—the active, “360-degree” mind is a viable way for those diagnosed with ADHD to realize their gifts and lead purposeful lives.

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Jeff Emmerson

From the depths of mental despair to becoming one of social media’s premier spokespeople for mental health issues, Jeff Emmerson is a veritable “Rocky” in the field. Jeff has written for and been interviewed by some of the world’s top radio hosts and online magazines regarding Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), including Everyday Health (featured on AOL Health) and Additudemag.

He also enjoys one of the world’s largest social media followings for a non-medical professional on the subject, with more than 1,000,000 Twitter followers (and counting) and a video blog (YouTube Channel) that includes more than 200 different postings on various aspects of ADHD. Many of the top medical experts in the field, as well as specialists in behavioural therapy, vision therapy and neuroscience regularly post and correspond with him as part of their collective goal: finding a path beyond today’s ADHD “epidemic.” Some also share their perspectives in Beyond ADHD.

Jeff is also empowering people across the world by teaching tools to break through behaviour and thought patterns that hold them back from deeper fulfilment and success in several areas of life. He has done the work in his own life and is a shining example of 51KHdUXB6PL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_ the human spirit in action. Signing his first book deal in May, 2016 was “just the beginning of my mission to help millions live better lives through tools and lessons that many of us never learned in school, myself included.”

Born and raised in Ontario, Canada, Jeff began speaking publicly to raise awareness of ADHD and mental health issues in 2011, following a suicide attempt and resulting ADHD diagnosis. (Two years earlier, he had lost his brother Ryan to suicide). In 2013, he took to social media channels and began blogging to reach an even larger audience — at which time he began reworking an old manuscript he had written about his life.

He is a passionate advocate for mental health, and fostering a deeper understanding beyond the accepted symptoms that have led to more than 30 million North Americans taking ADHD medication. He seeks to come up with solutions that return society to a place of compassion, humanity, community and empathy. He is represented by Dana Newman Literary Agency in Beverly Hills, California.

https://jeffemmerson.com

.facebook.com/IAmJeffEmmerson

AMAZON

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TSM 17-43 Still Standing After All the Tears with Valerie Silveira

October 16, 2017June 12, 2023Self Discovery Wisdom Podcast

Their Story Matters with Sara Troy and her guest Valerie Silveira, on air from October 24th

Valerie Silveira, Author of the Award-Winning Book, “Still Standing After All the Tears: Putting Back the Pieces After All Hell Breaks Loose” and Creator of the Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast. She is an author of two other books, a speaker, mentor, coach, and consultant.
In 2004, Valerie’s eighteen-year-old daughter was shot by her ex-boyfriend. Over the next decade, Jordan’s* life spun out of control and as a result, Valerie’s spiralled into darkness. She would face the heartbreaking reality that Jordan was a heroin addict and the painful truth that she is powerless to save her from her Beast.
With a heart shattered into a million pieces, a broken family, health issues, financial hardship and depression, Valerie was giving up hope of ever being happy again. At a very dark time in her life, she found a shred of hope, and a tiny bit of courage, and made a decision that probably saved her life – she decided to Stand Up & Fight. “Still Standing After All the Tears” takes you on a journey through the agony and hopelessness of losing her child over and over again to drug addiction, and into the Actions, Valerie used to battle her own Codependent Enabler Beast. Moms all over the United States, Canada, the U.K., Australia, and New Zealand are following the Nine Actions and learning how to Stand Up & Fight.
Although Valerie was painfully aware of the possibility of Jordan dying from an overdose, nothing could have prepared her for that knock on the door, August 28, 2016. Her daughter, Jamie, (whom she had called Jordan), was murdered. The nightmare her family lived through in 2004, had returned. Only this time, Jamie didn’t make it.
Through the devastation of losing Jamie, of losing hope of her recovery, Valerie
has fought to regain her courage, to stand up again, and to continue her mission
of helping moms and others. She is living proof that it is possible, even in your
darkest hours, to Stand Up & Fight. Valerie has had a diverse career in finance, business operations, consulting, training and speaking. None of her business challenges came even close to that of trying helplessly to save her daughter. She uses her professional experience and her two rides on what she calls the Roller Coaster From Hell, to help others put the pieces of their life back together. Valerie has an incredibly relatable style, and her sense of humour shows through the pain. The book and the Actions are important not only for families of addicts but for anyone struggling to move through or past a traumatic life situation.
*Until Jamie’s death, Valerie chose to call her daughter “Jordan” out of respect for her story.

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Books:

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Loose”
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Awards & Recognition:
? Amazon #1 Bestselling in two Categories (all books)
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C 17- 43b Anam Cara and Dreamwork with Will Sharon

October 15, 2017October 31, 2018Self Discovery Wisdom Podcast

Choose Positive Living with Sara Troy and her guest Will Sharon, ON AIR FROM OCTOBER 24TH

Feel the Dream do not analyze it for it is the fearlessness of the SOUL

As a coach, I have combined the experience of my clinical work with a number of new approaches that are often not taught in traditional coaching certification classes. Central to my work is the idea of the Anam Cara. Within that context, I generally use some or all of the following tools we will be discussing here.

Anam Cara refers to the Celtic spiritual belief of souls connecting and bonding.

In Celtic Spiritual tradition, it is believed that the soul radiates all about the physical body, what some refer to as an aura. When you connect with another person and become completely open and trusting with that individual, your two souls begin to flow together. Should such a deep bond be formed, it is said you have found your Anam Cara or soul friend.

Your Anam Cara always accepts you as you truly are, holding you in beauty and light. In order to appreciate this relationship, you must first recognize your own inner light and beauty. This is not always easy to do. The Celts believed that forming an Anam Cara friendship would help you to awaken your awareness of your own nature and experience the joys of others.

According to John O’Donahue, an accomplished Irish poet, philosopher and Catholic priest, “…You are joined in an ancient and eternal union with humanity that cuts across all barriers of time, convention, philosophy and definition. When you are blessed with an anam cara, the Irish believe, you have arrived at that most sacred place: home.”

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‘Life is about transitions and as you will read, I’ve had several’ says Will.

For the first thirteen years of my adult life, I worked in psychiatric facilities, initially as a teacher in a children’s unit and then a therapist doing individual and group work. I hold an MSW degree from Hunter School of Social Work.

Following that career, I spent time studying acting and working on soap operas and in off-Broadway theatres, was a law school student for a year and a half and spent time as a waiter and a bartender. On impulse, I taught myself the basics of telecommunications and bootstrapped my way into a job with a Wall Street brokerage firm.

Over the next 25 years my career was governed by a series of phone calls at opportune times asking me to take on projects for which, on paper, I had no qualifications. I worked on large construction projects in financial services culminating in an expanded role in the construction of 60 Wall Street followed by a position as COO of JP Morgan Corporate Real Estate and similar projects around the world. From those assignments, I shifted into a role as the Chief Risk Officer for Technology and Operations at the bank and then as Managing Director of an Operational Risk Management practice at PricewaterhouseCoopers.

A stint in my own risk management consultancy led to the position as CIO of McCann Worldgroup followed by a return to my own firm and engagements in Kenya and Thailand.

And then some downtime and a struggle to listen to the narrative of my life.

While the careers I’ve had are varied, the element common to them all is curiosity, which is what caused me to seek out an understanding of who we all are in the early days of my adulthood. Coaching and its emphasis on the wholeness, creativity resourcefulness of the client is a return to that early work but with the wisdom that comes from choices and experience and an understanding that the only lasting change comes from within.

I work as an Anam Cara and use Dreamwork and the Internal Family Systems model to guide my clients toward their soul’s purpose.