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Tabytha’s latest travels continued Prt 3 – Kigali, Rwanda

Self Discovery Wisdom Podcast

Feb. 2020: Amakuru! Hello in Kinyarwanda, the official first language of the nation, followed by Swahili -being the most common in all Africa, and then French.

Man my French Canadian did not stick, it would have been much easier to get by, but gratefully English is also widely understood.

Now let’s see, I left you off with chapter two after my time volunteering at the game reserve with some beloved animals like lions, tigers, zebras, ostrich’s and so forth. At the time I was really upset I had to leave them, but I know I will come back again another day, most definitely. I still think of them….

When the driver reluctantly took me away from the park, it was a somber road ahead until we finally entered the metropolitan city of Johannesburg. I felt a weight in my heart drop as she dropped me off at the all too familiar airport. There were so many people it was bewildering. Luckily I had something, or someone, to look forward to as a distraction. An old friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in 12 years came to pick me and we had a 22 hour catch up before my next take off. Like I said before this trip was certainly a reunion tour with people from the past. Andrew I befriended in Thailand back in 2007 and we kept bumping into each other in the same places whilst travelling those tropical lands. He and I kept messaging one another throughout the years but had missed a lot, obviously. He wanted to show me Joburg as how a local lived on a typical day. It was already late afternoon so we snacked on some biltong (jerky essentially), then drove around to pick up dinner ingredients as with the essentials like beer, gin and wood. We were gonna cook ourselves a braii (an outdoor grill) in his backyard. We ate well, talked of our past adventures, relationships, jobs etc., and wondered when and where we think we might bump into each other next. Travellers always have an itinerary in mind. Since the virus all my plans have fallen through for a while, there were places lined up for the rest of this year yet. I am not used to being in one place for too long so this is a big test for me, like some kind of joke. In retrospect I am now very happy I did these trips in the knick of time before we shut down international border crossings, but only I wouldn’t have rushed them as I did in which I only did then because I had bigger plans for upcoming Spring (today.) Who knows when we can travel abroad again? The new world is upon us and we are all in the same boat, awaiting it to unveil. We are all in this together no matter where we are.

My friend and I watched some cricket (the sport) the national News (President Cyril Ramaphosa of South Africa ?? was addressing the new outbreak spread of Covd-19 at the time) and then we ended the night playing darts and he went to bed early to get up for work. I had a flight out the next day at 3pm so in the morning he made an oatmeal medley and we said our goodbye, hopefully not for so long this time. So when he was already out to the office I did some much needed laundry still covered in dirt from the reserve grounds, then walked around the quaint Parkhurst neighborhood in the blazing sun looking for a cafe. The stores were quite extravagant as it was a wealthy area and I did enjoy window shopping, but that’s all I could do. I ended up having a last, regional Gin and Tonic as Johannesburg is known for the delightful concoctions, and then I had to pack my fresh, clean clothes and order a taxi to that same airport once more.

On my flight to Rwanda ?? it was rather interesting as the passenger beside me was an interesting fellow. He was also from Toronto, the same city I reside in, but he was actually born and raised there. Needless to say he guessed right away I was Canadian instead of American, and we both double fisted a red and white wine as we were in the last row and would not get returning service. He was also African and bilingual too, worked in and out of various countries throughout Africa as an oncologist. He said he would fly up to 7 different places a week sometimes. On this trip he had a very important meeting at the Hotel Des Mille Collines, where the shocking film Hotel Rwanda was shot. Unbeknownst to myself I would randomly find my new acquaintance at that very hotel days later, or rather he spotted me as I was eating a rather posh artichoke salad out on the terrace, and he came up recognizing me immediately to shake my hand and wish me well on my trip, and that “too bad I had just missed the President!?” He was having THE meeting there with Mr. Paul Kagame whom I could have met briefly had I arrived 10 minutes previous. Not sure what I would have said but I still think fondly that this person who met me on a plane thought I was remotely even worthy of being considered to greet any political leader.

Fun fact: Rwanda is amazing to be the first ever country to have primarily a female party in parliament at 61.3% for the Upper House – the Senate and at 38.5% for the Lower House – Chamber of Deputies. Incredible especially as women have overcome a lot of tragedy, grew up orphaned from the mass genocide, and are still not considered a big part of society. That’s sadly too often the case in many countries to this day. But if this can be a leading example to the world, then testify!!!

If women in power have a majority say, it’s no wonder this country is turning around to be a peaceful place. It may have been horrific in the past, but now rather they are focusing on a harmonious future together. I’ll explain it more after I tell you about the calamitous events to ensure the understanding of why or how it is now.

The Visa as of late now has 2 other adjoining countries on it. So if you get the East African Visa you can visit all 3 of Rwanda, Uganda and Kenya. If I had more time I would have done all of them, but I know I’ll be back in Africa one day again soon… or well, after this pandemic and I can save more money again. Something to look forward to. Once you’ve been, you certainly do think to yourself “I dream of Africa.”

However if you leave even 1 of the 3 countries to another out of the triangle on that particular Visa, then you are not allowed re-entry to either anymore. I think it cost $100 US and lasts 90 days, so you can enjoy a month in each. Sadly for me I only spent less than a week there, but saw enough, though there was more on my itinerary. If it hadn’t been for some inconveniences I would have seen more ex: gorilla trek I will soon mention, and going to the beautiful Kivu Lake at Gysenyi (I booked a day tour but then got screwed over by the travel agency, you’ll hear me bitch about them furthermore soon too.)

This new Visa with Rwanda and Uganda in particular is a big deal, since the Presidents of both countries were in a major dispute over a shared border. This conflict led the leaders into accusations of espionage and of soldiers coming in to attack civilians. President Museveni of Uganda and Kagame of Rwanda have very recently resolved this, opening the trading border where sales would flow more frequently and at a lower cost for both the people’s. They had seen enough violence during their days, so this peace agreement to sign a pact to ease tensions is going to affect their nation’s positions in a positive manner in future.

Typically in February it is damned hot in Africa, and I love it, damn it! Give me the sun, that heat. Except in Rwanda there are 2 rainy seasons and rest assured there were a few days in which took me by complete surprise, like when I went around the city hopping from place to place and wanted to end my day at the museum.

Turns out there was a storm coming that day, thus when I came outside after hours inside the museum, it was a full-on monsoon. It was completely out of left field since it was boiling out just a couple hours before.

Turns out there was a storm coming that day, thus when I came outside after hours inside the museum, it was a full-on monsoon. It was completely out of left field since it was boiling out just a couple hours before. Needless to say I was in a tank top and shorts unprepared for the obnoxious weather, so I got totally soaked. I stayed at the outdoor terrace as long as I could sipping on African coffee in hopes to stay warm, but who was I kidding? it was utterly freezing! The museum cafe eventually had to close, so I was basically stranded on top the hill in the harsh, cold rain until I eventually saw a car taxi come by, which seemed miraculous as most transit vehicles are motorbikes and that’s what I had taken all day prior. I felt like such a sitting duck tourist, which I was, cause everyone had an umbrella or some makeshift covering or hood or jacket, and had all seemed to have scattered in time before the mudslide down the hills. Oh yeah, Rwanda is known as the country of a thousand hills but the way. People are super fit walking around I tell ya. My last motorcycle taxi struggled so hard up a steep hill that I almost jumped off to walk, it was puffing with both our weight in first gear. I kept thinking of the little engine that could…

Later that wet and windy evening when I finally made it back to my room, mud up my knees and absolutely drenched, with the little wifi I received for a moment there I saw -on social media of all places- that there was indeed a flood warning in the Capitol, Kigali, where I was staying. Riiiiiiiight. Didn’t get the memo.

So some things to know about Rwanda; it is a growing, developing country with a population of 12.6 million mostly living in rural areas as it is landlocked.The economy has grown back since 1994 (we will get to that horrible business later) with their massive agriculture. The lands provide good farming and their biggest export is tea and coffee. Their tourism is in high demand for seeing the now protected gorillas in their natural habitat alive, well and free. It’s rare as there are so few left due to awful hunting of these amazing apes, mostly for ‘bush meat’. That was my main reason initially for choosing Rwanda over other countries this particular trip, yet most unfortunately in every sense of the word it is ridiculously expensive and I fear only rich people can afford to actually see them. However in hindsight that’s probably better so that we don’t disturb the remaining, beautiful beasts and continue to not let other predators in, like HUMANS -hunters. So I suppose the less people, the less risk. Their location must be kept  secret after all.

It really does appear to be that they are hidden away off a path that takes hours or days (depending on starting point) to hike to their destination and actually see them, and you can only witness their behaviour for an hour. One must earn a glance and obviously there is no interaction with the gorillas, just the chance to be fortunate enough to observe them as they are going about their day in the wild. One day I’ll be able to afford the hike to see them, and I hope that they’ll still be around then. ???

Coffee is sensational in Rwanda, it’s earthy and rich, tastes like the real deal. My ritual was to wander around a neighborhood until I could smell beans roasting, and then sit down and enjoy my cuppa joe with a biscuit to dip into it. Breakfast of champs. From there I’d figure out where I was closest to and would research where to go that day (wifi was a must as well.) I liked those morning starts, it was a blind mission and got me to other areas unplanned. *Most Rwandans don’t even drink coffee, but it’s responsible for 80% of export farming and is highly regarded for their economy. My room at the Bed and Breakfast didn’t serve coffee but they offered of course, breakfast. Nonetheless it was astonishingly huge and I couldn’t even get through a quarter of it, also I saw cockroaches in the room (shudder here) so I was concerned they crawled in my food, so I just told them not to make me meals furthermore, I simply said I had no appetite first thing in the morning. My favourite place I’d recommend to you for the view is Inorza Roof top Cafe and Book Store. Great java and a plethora of great books.

It was in that very cafe where I found out that I was very close to the Inema Art Centre. It was a swift 15 minute walk from there and it’s a community driven, charity based, youth art initiative. Proceeds of anything sold from the gallery goes towards funding the kids and keeping them safe and creative. I 100% support this place and bought my roommate a hand made, painted bow tie that a 12 year old designed. Impressive. Trust me I would have purchased every canvas if I so could, they are brilliantly talented.

Like many of my friends who think it is still very dangerous to go to Rwanda, I assure you anywhere in the world can be and I felt safe, though out of place sometimes. For the duration of my stay in Kigali it didn’t seem rude or disrespectful when one did a double back glance at me. I only once got pressured into buying things and that was at the infamous Kimironko Market. It was full of life and colours, exotic fruits, grains, fabrics, faces of old and young. I wanted to photograph everyone and everything, but as soon as you show any interest, a group of vendors are on you, trying to get you excited about their product for sale and it can be very overwhelming. The market I do recommend if you visit, it’s hard to resist it’s charm. I didn’t take any photos in the end though. 

Yes I got many stares and shouts of “mazungo!!!!” which only means “white” whenever I passed by, but I never felt threatened. It was more out of amusement or curiosity that a western woman would be there solo, also with bright, blond hair and tattoos, so I’m sure I might have been the estranged anomaly in town as I often was the only white person around and the locals were simply shocked (it seemed). I would say “Amakuru” politely and keep calm, carry on my way. This was in the outskirts of Remuera Village mostly. In other areas I didn’t even get a head turn, as if  suddenly it became multicultural at the change of a road sign.

Let’s not assume ever I’d get ripped off, but being a foreigner one often gets misguided by price, especially in transport services, so I always google map the distance then estimate the fare ahead of time. I’d write a location on a piece of paper if I thought I could not pronounce it properly to show to my random driver. I was also extra cautious, even wrote how many Kms away my desired destination was because one guy did try to take advantage; but I do not blame him, I simply laughed at him when he expected me to pay that much for a 2 minute ride. Fast learner here, I’m adaptable. If they were honest and fast or just plain friendly I’d give a bigger tip.

As I was saying earlier I missed a day tour that I paid $200 for that would have been worth it, provided I got to go. Avoid ‘Viator Tours’! Or as I call them now ‘Violator Tours’ because I actually felt violated of my right to a refund. It was advertised on the site that there was a pick up from KGL (Kigali airport.) I was a mere 10 minutes away from there, so it was perfect. We were to drive a couple hours through gorgeous landscape to our final destination, the Great Lake of Kivu, via the Nyambyumba Hot Springs. How awesome does that sound! It was a lot of money to me but to be out  in the countryside was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. Although when I checked the invoice they e mailed me post booking, it had changed from the KGL pick up location to GYI (Gisenyi airport.) Well that was not advertised, so it was a blatant lie! It would have taken me a taxi to the local bus station, a few hours on said bus, with exchanges at uncertain scheduled stop times in between, plus a 21 minute walk to another station close enough by. I calculated that could have taken up to 6 hours man!? As long as the tour and that was only one way. The pick up in the car said 2.5 hours which I could handle. So I obviously called them right away and cancelled, but as it was less than 48 hours notice Viator refused to refund me ?. 

Basically these travel agencies are savage, they sucker you online and the poor, actual tour guides in the country (like Usalama Tours) who do all the work only get a small percentage of the fee, the major cut still goes to these booking applications that apparently have false advertising. I felt so naive and used, I was pissed off. Usalama had the decency to call me and offer a discount on another day, but I had spent my “adventure budget” for Kigali on that one, so I couldn’t justify it. Viator took $200 from me just for me to cancel immediately due to the false location info, all they had to do with it was set up a bank transfer on their web page and post a fun photo. Needless to say, I’ll never book with them ever again. Be forewarned, fellow travelers.

On another day I stuck out my hand on the road and caught a motorcycle ride for a decent price to the rural parts outside of the city centre or the village I was staying in already. I discovered in Nyarurama there was a mentioned Heaven Garden Rebero that sounded irresistible. I made it all the way there crossing many small towns and passing by locals carrying bundles on their heads, walking up the slopes of the valleys, with children’s little feet kicking balls, mangy dogs looking for scraps, mama’s cooking over fire pits, clothes drying on pegs silhouetting chipped-paint homes. I got dropped off on the dirt road by a back gated entrance with security guards holding guns. They didn’t speak English but let me through I assume because I looked like a tourist. I looked up at the garden and I could tell it was going to be glorious. I saw in the distance the roof of a magnificent building but didn’t realize then what it was. I started walking up a hill among tulips and within seconds got stopped by another security guard. He brought me into an “office” that was more like a cubby, he was watching tv and asked me if I was a hotel guest. Ahhh, that’s what that building was. I said no but that I had come a bit out of the way to walk the garden. He put out his hand and asked for a thousand francs *the currency is Rwandan Francs still. Ex:  400 RWF = $5.50 Cad. At the time I had only 1600 RWF on me and I needed to hail a bike back too, so I sweetly asked if I could look around for a few minutes and offered him a small tip. He said 10 minutes was fine but no photos. It seemed like it would take 40 minutes to cover the grounds, and it would have been nice to have checked out the hotel, but I doubt that fancy place would have let me in. Regardless I snuck a few photos then walked back up the now muddy road as it was beginning to trickle down. I was planning on walking, defeated, until I found a place with shelter or a biker going past to take me back to Gisa Stay.

Much to my surprise and a great way to spend an afternoon, I stumbled upon something I didn’t even bother to research as I was under the impression this rural town had zero of them. Seeing as I am a bartender, I was extremely relieved when I discovered there was a distillery there! But how did they make their spirits?

The mystical, mountain top landmark was called 1000 Hills Distillery. They did small batch and crafted, premium, triple distilled liquors. Two whiskey-loving gents back in 2014 decided to create a vineyard originally, but then working with the farmers they learned of resilience, going green, and starting a different micro-business sourcing materials locally.  Since harvesting off these lands were predominant in coffee, they have a famous coffee liqueur. These guys wanted to work with the communities and adapted to using technical training to increase crop and livestock production.

They also harvest 1.5 million liters of rainwater to produce their liquor. It has been filtered and the water tastes amazing I must say. I can see where they get it all from as it was heavily pouring while I was there doing a tasting. In the vat room, you could hear the drops pound the metal roof, caught into barrel-like vessels. With the by-product methanol, they work in association with the local Government to create low-cost mosquito repellent, which is a major health risk and nuisance there, anywhere really.

That wet afternoon at the bar I tried all of the spirits that consisted of a vodka, spiced rum, a macadamia nut liqueur, a London dry gin (the winner for me) and a single malt whisky. As it was still raining after the presentation it happened to be “happy hour” so I waited it out, having an Old Fashioned.

Nonetheless I was getting rather tipsy and still had a journey back and was getting worried. My new friend, the barkeep, he was cool and he knew it wasn’t going to stop raining any time soon for me to get my motorbike taxi home. Kindly he offered me a lift with his friend who was picking up some staff at a cheaper rate than a car hire would be. Of course I had to wait longer so I drank a domestic ale while it got darker, colder, and I got drunker. The friend couldn’t drop me off to my door, but I didn’t mind a 9 block walk to sober up. It was really alive seeing people at night. By then the rain had at last stopped. There was moisture in the air and a craziness to the vibe. The locals were partying that night. I just wanted a shower (fingers crossed the hot water was turned on) and then the bed, hoping I wouldn’t find a flood or any disgusting roaches in the room. If you want to check out 1000 Hills products when visiting, but don’t necessarily want to go to the distillery, you can find them at airports at any of the Duty Frees and at all the major hotel bars and restaurants in all of Rwanda.

On my last night I treated myself to an exquisite meal. It was all outdoor but covered, thankfully, as the hot day had also turned to rain. I enjoyed beautiful, regional wines, had a starter and entree, I went all out at a lovely Spanish restaurant. I know I should have eaten local food for my last meal, but as a wino, I craved it and had a feeling I’d find a great one at that spot. After my dinner I stepped out in the courtyard and sipped my bouquet by the firepit. Once again I found myself cold but the meal, wine and fire compensated.

Let’s get to the severe past of the Rwandan peoples. It’s hard to get through but we all are aware of the horrid events that took place in 1994 over a course of 100 brutal days. I learned it all at the Kigali Genocide Memorial, where the remains of over 25,000 people were buried. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard (except for break ups in years prior, or more recently when Trump was elected.)

This historic event was utterly devastating. How could someone turn on their own kind? This sort of hatred brews from misunderstanding, manipulation and being led in the wrong direction, absolute travesty.

In 1916 the Belgian League of Nations mandate after WWII was part of a system with German East Africa called the territory of Ruanda-Urundi. The end of the Belgian trusteeship was in 1962 where Rwanda had declared itself a Republic. However back in the early 1930s the Belgians introduced ethnic identity cards to those at the age of 10 years old and up into groups; Hutus, the majority at 85%, the Tutsis at 14% and Twa at 1%. This was basically an indirect rule of racial hierarchy, regardless they were the same. The Belgians brought in religion and Christianity apparently favoured the minority of the Tutsi, saying they were smarter, more cooperative, even better looking. They actually invented a face measuring device to see how big your nose is from the side profile. Wow!? This division and so called favouritism saying the Tutsi were a superior race (remember, they came from the same place) thus this made the majority, the Hutus, start to get jealous of their friends and neighbors. After many years of being divided, ill advised, discriminated against and being provided the power of suggestion that the Hutus were not moving on in life was due to the Tutsis holding them down, hatred was bred. Many Tutsis ran off to the then independent and re-named Burundi when other mass killings of Tutsi occurred. Until that tragic day later when the Hutus finally went beyond reason and decided to take their power back, so they thought.

Genocide/

In Greek genos- group, race. In Latin cide- act of killing.

In other words or translation, destruction to a nation or race. Hitler tried to “cleanse” the world of Jews. Many others in war believed in this theory. Trying to wipe out an entire ethnic group.

On a tragic day in April straight up until July, a civil war started. Hutus who just yesterday had their friends over, were now enemies if that friend happened to be Tutsi. Do not read on as this is graphic content; I won’t go into detail because it will shatter your heart, but what they did to them was beyond fathom and completely merciless. Most of the slaughter wasn’t even direct murder. Tutsis were treated as pure evil, their ankles sliced so that they couldn’t run away from their fate. Mothers holding their dead babies before they were brutally raped and mutilated, repeatedly. Women and children sadly got it the worst, to set an example for future generations. There was a section at the memorial for the kids, stating their name, age, what they loved about their parents, their favourite food or play time, and how they were slain. It is astonishing and the most awful thing you can imagine. Nobody deserves that, especially a scared 4 year old torn away from her family.

This unnecessary and most foul duration of these crimes against the Tutsi lasted 100 days. Over 3 months of agony, violence, loss, torture, fear and tears.

When the film Hotel Rwanda came out, Nick Noltes character depicting a UN soldier to help the situation had a line that still haunts me. Don Cheadles character had asked Nolte why the US who had been exposed to the horrors of this event, why no salvation was on its way, no aid was coming. He wondered how the world could be aware of it and yet do nothing. Noltes response was “…. because to them you’re not even (n word), you’re just Africans.” That has left a sting in my veins for years. We don’t care unless it’s our problem.

As for today the orphans left have grown up. The few remaining survivors are tortured by the past. The Hutus of war are still ashamed and writhing with guilt. These people witnessed those horrors of 1994 and stepped over corpses of their suffered brothers, sisters, uncles, parents, grandmothers, friends, teachers. They didn’t even have the church or government or hospital for safety, there was no protection.

Today they say Kwibuku, which means Remember, Unite, Re new.

So on a hopeful note, they choose to remember to remind themselves to never let that kind of violence ever take place again. I think Rwanda is the most progressive country now after all they went through. They believe in Ubumuntu, a symbol for uniting Rwandans TOGETHER. They do not want to resort to vengeance anymore, but grow forward. The Memorial was created by both the Government And the Aegis Trust *2004 started the National Commission for the Fight Against Genocide. This teaches peace to all ages, education to enable people to relinquish revenge, put down weapons and champion humanity side by side.

It may seem hard to be able to forgive the acts of the past, but that is why it’s such a forward thinking place now, and I respect it so much for being able to do that. I wish them all the peace moving on, all Rwandans as one.

Maraekhohsi – thank you.

Ubumuntu forever.

For more info can go to www.kgm.rw for remembrance and learning or at www.aegistrust.org

Tabytha’s Africa journeys • Tabytha To Part 1 – Cape Town, South Africa Jan. 2020:

LIVING ON THE RESERVE • Tabytha To Part 2

BEFORE THE 2020 LOCKDOWN ISRAEL PRT 4

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20-20 Blogging Your Story

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Sara’s View of Life with Sara Troy on air from May 12th

We all have a story inside of us, and no story is too small to be read or heard. If you have a story in you that you want to blog about, come write for us here at Self Discovery Media.

It is your story, the only guide line is that even in the face of challenges there is hope and solutions to be found.


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MAY EDITORIAL: Scenarios for Doomsday

Self Discovery Wisdom Podcast

Welcome to this MAY 2020 edition of Hackwriters. 21 years on-line, 7700+ articles – reviews – stories – travel – share any feature you like and pass them on using the links. By Sam Hawksmore.

*As of May 9th around 4,057,000 have been infected worldwide, with 278,000 deaths. Take comfort that over 1,415,000 have recovered. (Worldometers.info) ** It is definitely slowing. May this trend continue.

7DaysMAY EDITORIAL: Scenarios for Doomsday

* As we remember Victory in Europe 75 years ago is there something brewing to bring war and desolation back into sharp focus?

Seven Days in May a novel by Fletcher Knebel tells the story of a plot to overthrow the US President because he supports a nuclear demilitarization treaty and they fear a Soviet sneak attack.  It was later made into one of the best political/military thrillers in 1964, directed by John Frankenheimer with a screenplay by Rod Serling. (Later of ‘Twilight Zone’ fame.)

Why bring this up now, aside from it being May.  I believe there are scenarios developing that could endanger the whole world.  These might be as a result of those Covid nightmares that people talk about or just a natural pessimist’s reasoning.  August 2020 could be a very dangerous time for all of us.

Scenario 1:  As Trump ramps up pressure on China to admit to responsibility for Covid-19 and destroying the world economy, they react with ever increasing shrill rhetoric.  By August the death toll in the USA from the virus could be in the 300,000 mark thanks to the Republican States prematurely breaking lockdown under Trump’s encouragement.  The virus is out of control and Trump needs a distraction from his glaring shortcomings.  China can see that the US Navy is suffering from the virus as is the US Army. They take the opportunity to test Trump’s resolve and attack Taiwan. What will Trump do as a ‘war president’ to get re-elected?

Scenario 2:  As the virus rages out of control in Russia and Putin’s popularity sink ever lower as people die in their thousands in primitive hospitals and are actually starving in the countryside, too sick to harvest – Putin must act by August.  He has a choice.  Seize Ukraine or Estonia. Easy pickings and he knows he has a puppet in the White House who cares little for NATO.  A few native Russians might be encouraged to riot in either country and get killed and he will ride in to save the rest from oppression.  He will be a hero again.   Europe is reeling from the virus and virtually bankrupt – ditto USA.  They might choose to do nothing or risk a war they cannot afford.

Scenario 3:  Unemployment in the USA reaches 40 million by late July as the economy struggles to come back and the virus sweeps through in a second wave and people refuse to go into a second lockdown.  Trump has to act or lose the November election, even if his Democratic rival is quite possibly dead of old age and no one has seen him ‘live’ since March.  He needs a war.  China is obvious, he’s been ramping up hatred for months but their armies and navies are healthy and well equipped and his aren’t.  However North Korea is ready to test their new nuclear missiles and despite his ‘love’ for Kim the dictator, a preemptive strike would be popular with his base. What will China do in response?  (Alt scenario is to attack Iran and get the price of oil up again for his friends in ‘Big Oil’.)

That should give you something to chew on this weekend.

§ Earlier thoughts.

How’s it going?  Got your divorce lawyer on speed dial yet?  Filled out any forms to have your kids put up for adoption?  Is your dog worn out from too many walks from everyone desperate to get outside? 

Everyone keeps saying everything will look different after the virus has gone.  Well it’s quite possible democracy will be the major casualty as populist figures rise up to blame the politicians in charge right now – no matter that there was very little they could do about it.  Sadly the current crop of populist leaders in the USA and Brazil for example take pride in making things worse for all.  A little bleach will solve everything right?  Some countries’ lockdowns, like India’s for example, were unnecessarily cruel and unplanned and did not allow people to stock up on food.  The only positive is that the virus seems not to affect younger populations. This might be true or simply the fact the virus hasn’t reached there yet. Time will tell.

I guess we must congratulate New Zealand for containing and beating the virus but how will they open up to tourism again without quarantining every soul who finds a way to get there?  Hope will they survive without tourism?  Will we be even be able to take any holidays this year?  The risk of catching the virus on Ryanair or the ferry seem very high right now and for months ahead.  Never mind getting adequate treatment once abroad. Travel will be the major casualty from all this.  British Airways already wants to fire 12,000 staff.  (Let’s hope it’s all the grumpy, snarky ones).

I wonder how many airlines will be in business post Covid–19 and what the fares will be and who will be able to afford them or tolerate 4 Hour check-ins and 14 day quarantine when you get to where you’re going? I note in The Times 28/4 that they expect between 1000 to 2400 airliners will be repossessed in the next two/three months.  Doesn’t augur well for Boeing or Airbus selling new planes, or Rolls Royce/G.E. jet engines.  I note Warren Buffet has sold out of everything to do with airlines. No doubt we shall all shed tears for Richard Branson and Virgin.  What no tears?  Me either.  Sorry.  There will be so many familiar stores and venues that will have gone bust by the time lockdown ends; all we will have is Amazon.  Empty Malls will become ghost towns for tomorrow’s kids to wonder at. Although I read they are opening up in the USA already. Lets all rush to GAP and the tatto parlours. You first.

I guess we shall be studying all those places that open up and go back to work and see if the virus expands again.   I think it’s wise in the UK to wait and see. Meanwhile the first of my lettuces is ready to eat and the broccoli is showing signs of life too, as are the potatoes. Hope you planted something too.

I’ll end this with remembering all those who had died and the brave souls who treated them at great risk to themselves.  Spare a thought too for those who died at home, too scared to leave or struck down with a heart attack (one of the curious symptoms of the virus).  If you didn’t appreciate your doctors, nurses, cleaners, and sundry service workers before this – I hope the hell you do now.  And here’s a shout out for Dentists. We all need them and soon and we need a scheme to see them safely even sooner!

 © Sam Hawksmoor May 9th 2020


Meanwhile – do take time to read or download our Pandemic novel set in Canada and Mexico.
a quick taster here The Last Ferry
from ‘Another Place to Die: The Endtime Chronicles’. Print or Kindle.

Or try the classic plague novel whilst incarcerated on the sofa ‘La Peste‘ by Albert Camus. They won’t cure you but might just help you survive and help pass the time.

Read Girl with Cat (Blue) – ‘funny, scary and full of surprises – a must read‘ LD

*Keeping Hackwriters archived is supported by sales of our books – so do buy, print or kindle, we aren’t picky.
Magenta – A chilling story of kidnapping, burning and strangeness set in the wilds of Lincolnshire
The Sam North Novels – still available to order Amazon * Sadly Lulu deleted all Sam’s others this month
** The Heaviness, also recommended & The Repercussions of Tomas D -‘best time travel WW2 story in a long while’

The new edition of ‘ANOTHER PLACE TO DIE: ENDTIME CHRONICLES
By Sam Hawksmoor & Sam North
There’s no place to hide from the pandemic


Print & Kindle
Q&A interview with the authors here
A city gripped by fear. People are petrified of being thrown into quarantine. Best friends Kira and Liz once parted are scared they will never see each other again. Teen lovers, Chris and Rachel, prepare to escape to the islands. Can you get ahead of the virus? Review from the First Edition:
‘Beautiful, plausible, and sickeningly addictive, Another Place to Die: Endtime will terrify you, thrill you, and make you petrified of anyone who comes near you…’
Roxy West – Amazon.co.uk

Girl with Cat (Blue) – Shortlisted for the Rubery Book Award

‘a funny, bloody, colorful narrative that never fails to surprise the reader. Girl with Cat (Blue) provides great entertainment‘.

‘This book was amazing! I was hooked from the first few pages and couldn’t put the book down.’
Judge, 26th Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards. – Honorable Mention

J&K 4Ever – A post-apocalypse love story

J&K 4Ever


Sixty years after the end of everything the city of Bluette survives, controlled by a malignant sect.  A place where men rule, girls receive no education and are matched at 16 to the highest bidder.  No one is ever permitted to leave the city and outside is a murderous wasteland of despair. Orphans Kruge and Jeyna have been devoted to each other through all the years of terror in this harsh regime and sworn never to be parted.  But the beautiful Jeyna has been betrayed by the Warden. Kruge has been swiftly banished to the Scraps, under the control of the Keeper. Jeyna is heartbroken; she will not accept her fate and escapes to find Kruge. 
 ‘A genuine romance in a bleak but plausible and terrifying setting’.

MARIKKA– exclusively on Amazon Print and kindle 2


Based on a tragic real-life event, Marikka flees from an arson attack on her home to the sea, where she meets Starfish boy – a runaway working for Jackson, a scarred man hiding a sinister secret from the world. Meanwhile, her real father searches for her with the aide of Anya, ‘the girl who can read objects’. More about the writing of this book

‘Long after my tears dried, my heart stayed with Marikka, Starfish Boy and the strange girl who reads objects.’ CT
You will smile, you will gasp with shock, and you will struggle to read the words through your tears. Gemma Williams – Amazon.co.uk

Spy/Romance thriller set during the Blitz in WW2 – Kindle download

The Repercussions of Tomas D
A Hero? Or Englands Greatest Traitor? USA Paperback here


‘Disturbing and very poignant YA love story that presents a chilling alternate future for an England that lost the war.’ Marcel d’Agneau
‘A brilliant imagining of living in the Blitz, well researched.’ Amazon UK
‘This is Man in the High Castle for teens and scarily plausible with alternative facts ‘

*download the Kindle version or buy the paperback from Hammer & Tong

‘The Heaviness’ for any reader who likes to think about such things as betrayal, revenge, relationships and the laws of gravity. An original Genie Magee story

Genie & Renée have just 36 hours to save Rian or he dies

‘Without a doubt, one of the best YA Sci Fi series out there.’ Evie Seo Bookish
Kindle & print

Thanks to readers who have been buying this title. . * Also published as Rüya by Marti Yayincilik – The Turkish publishers of TOZ & Golge

LIVING ON THE RESERVE • Tabytha To Part 2

Self Discovery Wisdom Podcast
LIVING ON THE RESERVE
• Tabytha To
Part Two – Conservation week: Somewhere in Africa, 2020
Photos © Tabytha ToIt may seem strange that I’m not going to name the location. I flew from beloved Cape Town at the end of January. The reason being for not revealing the whereabouts is that there are some sacred animals there that are endangered, and I do not want to give away their protected place. 

This was a major part of why I chose to sign up with this particular program.  It really IS better for the animals – (well, being free in the wild is better, but under certain circumstances, not for these ones.)  The Arrivals terminal was full, lots of flights still happening back then.  Obviously I was not checking the news often during travel, but had heard of this Coronavirus.  There was a warning I saw in a paper that about 132 people had died from an infection in China.  It still hadn’t spread globally yet it seemed…. Little did I know that my timing was perfect for going to the game reserve when I did, as all volunteer conservation programs would soon be shut down after I left.

I arrived in Johannesburg after a very teary-eyed departure in Cape Town saying goodbye.  It was such a beautiful day out, and I had only just met the rest of the Heyburgh family that very day; we had an outdoor luncheon and it was lovely, but then it got emotional and parting is such sweet sorrow sometimes… most times. I had a late night flight and stayed at a nearby hotel for 6 short hours, just to return back to the airport early morning. But, when I arrived again, I found two friends from Toronto there also.  Small world…. and a sign with my name on it was held up at the info counter. I waved adios to those lads and wished them well on their glorious journeys ahead, then threw my bags in a strangers car and was off for a long hot drive away to my new, short term home.

When we pulled up I was tired, drained from crying, but also very excited to start this project volunteering.  It was a dedicated conservation effort to save wild animals that cannot survive on their own anymore, and we want them to thrive.  Also to protect the land, their habitat.  I wish there was more we can do, and we can.  Do research the legit projects and fund the good ones, no self-made zoos. After all the waiting to get to this amazing place I’d been researching for months, I was immediately greeted by young female ostrich’s, pecking away stupidly, but oh so cutely at the grass. 

I signed the safety of my life away, willing to risk it to see tigers and other incredible creatures, but also to enrich their lives.  I couldn’t believe that some of the ostrich’s were friendly enough and that I could even pet such a big bird! The feathers are soft, but the head and neck feel like one of those crinkly childhood craft papers. If they don’t want your love they run away.  We rightfully called them chickens, however extremely large chickens.

I had 10 mins to settle in to my “room” which, I wasn’t expecting the Ritz Hotel as I only paid for ‘room and board’ to volunteer and help out. Beggars cannot be choosers and this old room that had been slept in by many before me, would have to suffice.  Though it was clean it seemed dirty, but after day two of work I already did not care, except for when I had a giant moth buzzing around and it was making me dizzy going around the light whilst I was trying to read.  I was a baby about it so I had to come out and get a brave assistant to kindly remove it for me…. dusty wings, no thanks.

It was morning, but late, not quite noon yet, I had missed breakfast, so I was given my orientation for daily tasks and duties.  I arrived on Monday and luckily missed “Shit Trailer” work in which, I will get to; let’s just say that would have been awful as my first job upon arrival.  Our approximate wake up at 6/6:30am everyday or earlier if you were signed up for the elephant walks. We as workers were allowed two each per week. Privilege you see. 

Work was to start as soon as everyone gathered in the common meeting area, but as it’s free labour, some people do not abide by the prompt schedule and show up late and still crusty-eyed in pjs.  When all had joined then we were to grab our tools or what not and go off to our assignments. The paid crew was fortunate they had a lot of people signed up (especially during the slower season as it is too hot so less helping hands.)

It seemed a few groups of friends came together so there were eleven of us volunteers from all over the world, a mixed bag crew of us: boys and girls, different age groups and I admit I was the eldest, even out of most the staff. Thus with our rather large number we were divided in to two teams.

So let’s say typical day is:

7am Monday – everyone does Shit Trailer. Come back, if time to shower you can but no point if you’re just going to get dirty again… breakfast every day at 9am. The good thing about our mealtime was we had to walk 15 mins away uphill to the lodge where food was served.  We were the lowly staff in a camp, but guests stay at the lovely lodge with a pool and restaurant.  We got a cafeteria room with basic food to serve the masses, like instant coffee (my god when I realized I could buy real coffee at the bar, it was a game changer!), maybe a banana, happy when there were eggs, but mostly cereal, white bread, and perhaps hash browns.  Sometimes bacon but I don’t eat pigs.  If there were apples I’d stash it for the horses, some of them loved those treats and it was fun to have them nibble one out of your hand. We were hungry by 9am, morning work builds an appetite.  At 10am, after the important meal of the day, strength was built back up, we could do more assignments.  Say Team 1 – clean the horse stables.  Team 2 – elephant houses.  This really was quite literally, shitty work.  Animals have to go overnight, so when they are gone out in the morning for their long walks, we sneak in and shimmy up their joints, clean all their feces up.  Elephants can do a lot of damage in one night lemme tell ya!  I was a prude at first, putting a bandana over my mouth and nostrils, holding my breath scooping too close.  The manure piles would then go on to wagon and hence, on to the mighty “Shit Trailer.”  This doody duty could take about 45 mins, depending how many shovels and hands on board.  Only one hose.  You’ll be happy to know the elllys are free to live on the grounds of the park, but again sadly, due to fucking poachers, we have to keep them in security lock up over night.  Their houses were decent and big enough though so don’t worry.

On the park grounds there are about five horses I can name, who were well loved and taken care of by their handlers.  And I give warning for you not to read this part if you are sensitive.  The other side of the stables were horses we could not get attached to.  As this place is a sanctuary it is where sick, old or hurt beyond repair horses are sent for their last few days in peace.  The vet lets them go humanely and they are hopefully having the most comfortable last days, before they are released from their anguish and turned in to cat food.  Circle of life…. I learned the hard way.

My first day after orientation I was on ‘big cat dinner duty.’ The lions, tigers and the solo leopard are fed twice a week, as they would naturally hunt/eat in the wild, so that they don’t get obese or unhealthy. I excitedly jumped up on the back of our big Bakkie (aka truck) and I could see blood leaking from under the tarps, and tried my hardest to put on a tough face.  We drove around to the hungry cats who conditionally knew it was feeding time, and they were running towards the gates near growling with anticipation.

The alphas may of course growl loudly to keep their Pride in check who’s boss, so he gets the biggest piece first.  As I was fresh to the reserve, I was allowed to go ahead and feed him first if I wanted.  The tarp was turned over and there was a freakin horses head! 

This was before I knew about the ones in back stables, the circle of life.  I felt like it was a scene from the Godfather, seeing a bloody, decapitated head.  I didn’t throw that one it was too heavy for me to throw that far and I couldn’t look the horses face in the eyes, but it really was interesting watching the lions go after their share.  The lionesses would grab meat and then run off with their portion, probably because the male would likely try and steal theirs too. I’m absolutely in love with the leopard, I had never seen one before.  She was sleek and sultry, hiding in her favourite tree.  She only came out to feed after we left, but over my time there she became less shy and would eventually come right up to us, through a fence mind you, we couldn’t just walk on to her turf of course.  That’s her territory alone to rule.  A majestic, fierce cat I have a lot of respect for.  The tigers to me were unreal, especially during feeding, they jumped up to catch their dinner! 

Now I know that tigers are not native to Africa, unfortunately there are far too many assholes that want to own exotic pets, and cannot handle them when they get bigger.  The four tigers that were dumped at this reserves gate were still very young and defenceless, left from a film set (those fucking bastards!!!) and the sanctuary simply couldn’t turn them away and had to quickly adapt to them, build new enclosures for them, figure out tigers diets, lifestyles etc, as so far the reserve had only lions then. Today the tigers are healthy teenagers, utterly beautiful and seem quite happy. 

I’ve seen a caged tiger in a Thai zoo pacing back and forth as it had gone mad; it was the saddest moment I’ve ever witnessed a creature, in pure torment.  These ferocious beauties had each other, and loads of space to run and trees to climb if they so wish. The enclosures are necessary, these predatory big cats sadly cannot be free in the wild, as they will be hunted. Poachers are the worst. Don’t get me started.

I think I’m the only person in quarantine right now who actually refuses to watch the horrid “Tiger King” on Netflix that everyone and their cousin has a meme for already.  I can’t stand greedy hicks abusing these magnificent beasts. Breeding and declawing are NOT allowed on this park.  Should be the way they all are!  However people want profit and stuff poor tigers and lions in to small paddocks – prisons.  They inhumanely de claw them, use them for entertainment, most are drugged, under exercised, depressed, traumatized, then sold off illegally as pets, to roadside fake “zoos”, or for body parts that some ignorant people still believe cures them in some form or another.  It’s brutal. In America alone they have more big cats in captivity under horrible conditions, than there are existing worldwide in the wild. 

In Africa, if hunters don’t get to the lions first, there is a thing called canned hunting, where there are bred in captivity, kept in small cages, just to grow up big enough to be killed for trophy sport. They are utterly helpless, how can a “man” feel proud at all, paying to shoot a trapped animal?

Enough sad information, I’ll get back to the volunteer work, trust me I had a wonderful time and there is happiness for animals here too.

Ok so after stables and house cleaning (scooping poop basically), we wash up for a minute then go back up to the lodge for lunch at 12:30 for lunch and enjoy some free time till 2pm.

We got an allowance for a wifi feature at the lodge, but you had to use it wisely cause the expiry session wasn’t as charitable, and then you’d have to pay.  I’d post pics of the beloved animals mostly.

Afterwards, say Team 1 would go clean up the branches that were blocking a path, and Team 2 would go spray and hack the bad weeds growing.  The park is huge, so there is a lot of weeding to do.  Then there would be animal enrichment programs we all do together and get a lot of joy out of.  Like watching the lions (a Pride a week, there were were three different ones, mostly keeping families together so they don’t kill or mate with each other) and they would do racing tracks.  For example chasing after a lure that we tied up to the bakkie.  Watching them run so close is a captivating sensation.  You feel so lucky to watch these predators in their full potential.  One of them, the brother during this particular run, was scared of the shiny lure so he never actually wanted to touch it and would run fast after it upon release (out of the trailer, we take them to a meadow to run farthest) but then he would psyche himself out getting too close and would trip over his own feet.  It was so sweet and hilarious to see this big guy that could tear your face off, afraid of a shiny ball with tiny tassels on it.  His sisters were amazing though, incredibly fast!  I’m just glad they get to run often enough, but I was amazed how tired they were after.  Lions got it good, they sleep up to 20 hours a day if they wanted to.  As it was the hottest month then they mostly sat in the shade and groomed themselves, napped for ages, or played with each other or their toys we gave them. They love to play with boxes filled with hard manure by the way, I guess it would be natural for them in the wild right.

And then after those assignments came my favourite part of every day. Prepping and collecting food buckets for the plains animals, meaning the free roaming ones on the plains like zebras and wildebeests and so forth. First we’d get the get the raw chicken necks and throw them over to the servals who were absolute darlings, but I’d hate to piss them off ever, those sharp teeth!  They are like smaller bob cats, or big domesticated cats with specific markings.  We then would hop back onto the back of the big bakkie I called “Mojumbo” and we’d drive around to the lodges kitchen entrance, where the chefs would have crates of leftover veggies for us.  Driving off over the plains under dried, lime green African trees, rusted dirt terrain and under crystal blue skies is grandiose.  Seeing all the wildlife run around opens your heart and fills it with light and love.  Everytime I was in awe.  I volunteered to do it before each sun set.  Mojumbo would stop in the middle of some tall grass and herbs and pull up to a large enclosure for two sweet looking yet ever so vicious mongoose.  Unfortunately they get hunted too often for their fur, do you know how many it would take to make a fucking coat?  Anyways they get chicken necks and feet, all the parts with bones in them as their razor teeth can chew through them with ease, I could hear them crunching bones.  Fun fact, mongooses are snake killers, can take down a cobra no problem.  Fascinating.  I love snakes but I’d prefer nature to survive over stupid man killing them for no reason.  They scurry quickly to us with excitement and it was awesome to see their little, although very scary claws, come up and grab their meal.

The three or four of us volleys would drive up yelling aloud to the other animals to come get it, and I swear they understood.  At first it seemed ridiculous driving around and non-discreetly shouting out “come, come!” and yet herds of animals really do run out to you.  One time I saw a mama zebra freaking out and kicking in a circle with her hind legs, she thumped a few guys who got too close to her kid, she was protecting her buba and wanted it to eat first.  Those guys got the wind knocked out of them, and also got some wind as it appears zebras fart whilst kicking, maybe as a more threatening tactic.  Not sure but I had no idea how tough they were.  There was only one zebra who was curious with humans and it was such an honor to hand feed him on one of the runs, I was ecstatic, meanwhile looking out for any farting, kicking mamas near by. 

The deer such as impala and the great kudu seem to just eat off the land and don’t care about our grains, but they would always stop along their tracks to stare at us then run off.  I saw a skittish jackal once, but he seemed to like hunting in solitaire.  After sharing food on the plains we then drive to a tall feeding station that was very hard to lift the heavy sacks of food and dump in to the troughs.  This particular sound brought all the giraffes and some sneaky ostrich’s attention!  It was the coolest thing to watch them come out from nowhere suddenly and dunk their long, gorgeous, obtrusive necks into the troughs and then chew precariously form side to side with their silly mouths.  It was brilliant watching them eat, they’d look at you with their special, patterned faces and dopey eyes with long eyelashes, and everything just seemed to melt away.  Dinner time feeding was calming for me at least. Unlike the horse meat for the predators.  The ostrich’s weren’t as tall but very sneaky and would peck vigorously at the feed, it was very funny and they were also a nuisance.  Let the giraffes eat in peace damnit.  After watching the somber faces satisfied with their ration, their beautiful heads would go back up in to trees and disappear. And then, my favourite part was to end the evening by going to a hidden trough that had a metal door to prevent the other greedy animals away from the little wart hogs dinners. That’s where the left over veggies went and you would hear their little heels prancing on the dirt path towards us and their kiddies squealing in delight. They’d crawl in to the hut on their knees, oh man they are precious. They made me extremely happy, and if you don’t believe me, baby hogs are the cutest and I could never think of them as vile beasts. They are beloved darlings too.

After that it was time for human dinner at 7:30pm and it was never good food, but at least the view from the lodge to see the sunset over the plains from afar was magic. I did run a tab at the bar and every night I’d have an African beer and scotch, or two glasses of local wine.  At lunch time my bartenders knew to have an Amarula coffee ready for me at 1pm, where I’d sit with my iPad outside and really relax.  Amarula cream liqueur comes from an African fruit called Marula.  It trickles down the tree and animals, especially monkeys and even elephants, lick the sap and then hours later become intoxicated as the fruit ferments in their stomach.  They have been known to be hung over on occasion. I enjoyed mine as a shot neat (not on ice as people do) and pour it in to my espresso.  Brilliant combination, I got a few other volunteers in to this ritual also.

The kids, (I shouldn’t be harsh but compared to me as I could have been three of theirs’ actual mother,) would stay up and party.  I utilized this early schedule for trying to go to bed before 1am for once.  There was a pool table I dabbled in a match or two, a games night on one occasion.  Mostly I had a shower and went to bed with my book. 

Although one night we had a party by a fire off grounds (I suppose the lodge rents that space out for weddings in the park) and we all danced the night away and I did have fun, but they wanted pop music the whole time and I ended up being babysitter/water patrol to the sick teenager whom I called out would not be able to handle her liquor.  In fact that evening I shared a bottle of tequila with a Mexican and he ended up vomiting all throughout the next day – and they went on safari four hours away, rough go champ.

Other tasks were random, as were needed.  Every morning was elephant house, horse stables cleaning and, I don’t want to say the species out right but, we also had to clean the ‘chubby unicorns’ pens out as well.  How magnificent these docile creatures are, however I would not like to get in their way you’d be trampled in 30 seconds.  They seem so gentile and I will do anything to protect the last of them remaining.  Sadly there are only two Northern white rhinos left in the entire world!  Fucking ivory trade! And the black rhinoceros has low numbers, also very endangered now.  We hide them well and give them good space of settlement, and two of them are a couple in love and it was the sweetest sight ever watching them sleep head to head beside each other, resting horns together in harmony.  I wonder what they dream of, staying alive, being free one day again.  We do not photograph them for their own good, but how badly did I wish I could as one may never see them again in less than a few years, shameful. 

So many are brutally murdered in the wild each day! It’s savage the way they are mutilated and left to die.  Just for a stinking horn because someone has an idea it makes them healthy or wealthy, utter bullshit! Breaks my goddamned heart and makes me feel as though animals are more humane than us selfish humans.  A unicorn was slashed (I know it sounds terrible and harsh doesn’t it, but it’s sadly true) two years ago on the reserve.  A staff member at 6am found her bleeding out to death, awful.  But never again here they promised from that day on.

So now they have guard dogs, lots of security and even some that go out late at night to search for poachers to prevent them from entering the protected land, and an electric fence.  Weird always seeing guns, but I adapted to it quickly, especially later in Rwanda and Israel where I was completely desensitized by then.  My room was right by the fence so it drove me mad beeping every 6 seconds. I put pillows over my ears, but had no earplugs and I was afraid even if I did, I’d miss my 6am alarm clock.  After three nights of restless bad sleep (think I may have got three hours max on one evening) I moved in to my friends shared room where only monkeys come and steal your snacks.  Literally things were taken, I busted a sly one with no fear hopping on the beds and upon the shelves where someone hid apples and bananas.  Hilarious!  Knocked clothes all over the floor, wasn’t very conspicuous about it.  From then on we shut the windows.  Cheeky buggers but I’m glad how resourceful they are.  So fast too, they are on top of the game.

Once a week is the infamous “shit trailer” on Mondays. Imagine a huge trailer just covered in shit.  That’s where we dump the wagon barrels from the pens and drive off to the meadows dumping pile, just a heap of manure.  Eventually it turns into soil and some greens were starting to sprout from the ghastly mountain.  Elephants I thought were bad, massive poops, but nothing is worse than the astringent unicorn piss. Their poop is foul but only hay diet, they have to eat tones of it a day. Horses surprisingly are the least ronchy of them all and they eat hay as well.  But this unicorn urine is strong, like 100 angry cats peed in a puddle.  We have to separate the solids from liquids with rakes, scoop it on to the wagon, walk it to the trailer then repeat.  Washing the piss away was last so the entire time you are smelling this nasty odour.  And mix it with the heat, ooooh!  But you know, I was happy to do it so they could come back safe and sound to a clean bedroom to sleep in, protected for another day.

Cleaning duties were every morning but once we had to build a temporary cage by the leopards quarters, as she was getting a new friend.  They had been introduced previously, but not on her turf.  He was a young jaguar that was abandoned somewhere, can’t remember his story.  We were going to keep him a few hours beside her establishment so that she could get used to him there, and then if she was willing to inquire of him he’d be put inside her territory but to remain in the said cage until she sniffed him out, politely.  If all were unanimous with each other, then we’d open up and release him to his new home.  I missed that day as it was park staff and animal carers only who got to assist with the move.  But building that cage was hard, it was heavy and we had to break wires then put them back together again.  I did get shocked once but it was on low.  I felt strange for a while after, disorientated and in shock, literally.  I’d like to think the electrical defences were anti humans coming in….. but I’m not sure if it’s so the cats don’t escape.

Another rare task was holding down the donkeys while the staff had to rub anti-tick cream into their scalps. These guys are tough. It took six of us to hold one. They ended up looking like they were starting a punk rock band, I’d call them “Rule of the Mule” bad ass *see what I did there!?  They had a Mohawk afterwards as the cream was purple, but you could see all the antagonizing flea bites and I hope we cured them. A donkeys “hee haws” is the loudest noise of all the animals, it lingers and is rather wretched sounding.  Other than the nocturnal lions at night who roar to prove they are king of the jungle (reserve) to the other Prides.  The sound of roars sent chills up my spine but I thoroughly got excited every time at 1am or so when they vocally showed off their alpha claim.

We had the very sexy, silver fox vet come with a rifle one of the days. All teams were on deck.  This made my gut go crazy with anxiety. However he wasn’t there to kill any being, he had tranquilizers to target the over populated wildebeest males in that area, knocking up too many females and they had to relocate the bigger boys so that the shared land could be balanced out.  He got the bulls precisely where he aimed. The beest would run off, then we’d coax them back our way by shaking food buckets.  Then they’d start chewing and slowly start staggering until they fell in to a deep spell.  These creatures are massive, also locals refer to them as gods left overs, like all the parts of animals put on one hideous creature.  They’re not ugly to me.  We’d lift them by the horns on to tarp, then eight of us would lift them on the the truck.  Man they are heavy!  Standing there holding dead weight in the blazing sun, one volunteer even fainted!  We finally got four bulls in the truck that day.  I heard they woke up on the other side and went straight to eating leaves as if nothing happened.  I felt bad like we stuffed them and bruised them, but hopefully not.  An alternate day other wildebeest were released from a truck on to the plains where we got to see if the ladies would take to them in their social network.  Much to our amusement they allowed these new members in.  I dunno if they were impotent or what, but for some reasons these wildebeest would not mate as much apparently.  Success story in controlled conservation I suppose..

Others had paid upfront to take days off and do adventures.  I was only there for a week as it was what I could afford then, and I intended to stay and work.  I am regretting not doing the sunrise hot air balloon ride though, it looked surreal.  I was left that morning to do the elephant pens solo, but luckily a staff member saw and helped me out.  I was dripping with sweat and covered in feces after it was done, and I had two different boots on as one rubber foot had broke.  Not the only thing that broke.  Awkward.

I did take a half day to myself to go horse back riding.  We went up over the hills and I saw birds that we did not see before on our side, saw how far the elephants walked each day, and had epic views from the mountain. My horse was majestic. I hope he never gets sick. That was a nice trot and the giraffes shyly came to say hi.

I managed to stub my big toe the previous night watering the horses (filling their buckets up) in the dark, barefoot, and cracked it on a ledge. It was excruciatingly painful and having it swell while stuffed in to a tight saddle foot was not ideal, but I thought I had just badly banged it. Little did I know I broke the damned thing.  So of course after riding I wanted to do it all and went to another location and forced some other volleys who also did not go hot air ballooning to go zip lining with me – for their first time.  I think I’ve done it in 8 countries or so now.  I just love flying over stunning scenery of places you really can’t discover the mass and beauty of until you are over it, or rather, flying through it. It was astonishing how evil the sun was that afternoon, but we managed to do seven lines and the others at first were overly cautious, but then ended up with the biggest grins on their faces like I said they would, and they thanked me for making them do it.  What a fun job those lads have, they get to zip across the land all day, make scared people happy. They taught us some Zulu and Sotho, but embarrassingly I forgot it all, such lovely greetings I do recall however.  Shame.  Went back to camp for a still night only to find that my adventure filled day was over, and that work in the morning with a fat, busted, black toe was not going to be any fun whatsoever.

So blessed I signed up twice for the 5am elephant walks. There are three on the grounds, one mama, her daughter and an adopted sister who is lucky that mama let attach to her and raise as part of the family. A happy trio of girls with no bulls to bully them.  Maybe the eldest will want to have her own baby soon but they do not breed here, against the rules, and I think if she doesn’t see any males perhaps she won’t know to mate…. I can’t give any answers on that.  Feel sad they can’t have a proper herd free in the wild.  Why do people have to ruin everything for everyone?  The handlers do however take precious care of them, are very loving, informative and adore our gentle giants. They knew so much about them. They walk by them every day for hours so that they do not wander off the conservation and re-direct these ladies back to their safe sleeping pens.  If an elephant never forgets, would she remember how to get back on her own?  Anyways it’s nice they are out in open all day, protected at night.  They basically feed for eight hours plus straight. Constantly stopping at a tree to pull branches down with their mighty trunks.  I tried to pull some leaves off and hand feed it to the mother, and as if showing off she pulled her own bunch off on one full swipe whilst I was still tugging with all the strength I could muster, but to no prevail.  Magnificent beings, when you look into the eye of this soulful creature of Mother Nature, you feel you are being processed.  It’s special.  My heart misses them dearly.

I won’t go on about tasks but I will share new found esteem for the the misunderstood hyena. All this time I pictured them as evil. Perhaps “The Lion King” film depicted them as devilish, I also watch a lot of Attenborough documentary’s and it appears as they are savage scavengers in packs, or always attacking.  But we never see the full story.  Yes they are merciless hunters, but can also be tame when not on the kill.  There was one brown hyena, a different kind of breed, whom I now hold in high regard, mostly due to her tenderness.  That’s right, some hyenas are indeed so sweet!  I wish she had friends in her enclosure, but then I guess it’s good they aren’t in harm and taken to the rescue reserve.  She does have it pretty good there.  Oh her darling face, it was like she was smiling.  And extremely affectionate, she’d come up to the fence and press her face up for you to pet her.  She’d close her eyes indulging in this touch.  Something we can relate to these days being in quarantine, not being able to touch or have a physical connection with anyone.  I want animals to be free but if they must be in captivity, let them be free in a sanctuary at least so they are not in dire isolation and cramped.  I’ll come back and hope she gets re-released one day, but after rehabilitation, I don’t think a pack will accept her pleasant character.

This project really changed me, made me feel intense emotions and understand things are out of my control and not to let them destroy me, but to be stronger for them, for each other, so that we can help and educate and save more animals and one another.  The world is fucked up, but after feeling a rhinos cheek against my hand as he pushed his head through the gate to greet me, is one of the most moving, sentimental, poignant and evocative moments I’ve ever had in my life.  It was personal and revealing.  I am deeply touched and affected more than ever to try and stop the cruelty towards animals, and to assist with making the helpless lives more hopeful, comfortable and worth living.

They deserve to truly live, and it’s only up to US who can undo the damage from this day forth.  Appreciate all living beings, trust me if you saw a benevolent wart hog, a regal tiger, a wise elephant up close, unchained or hurt, you’d respect something bigger than yourself and you’ll want to dedicate your energy into letting them be as they deserve to be…. free, alive. I love and miss them all, even the mischievous monkeys and howling donkeys.  I look forward to future progress and can’t wait to return back to this project with more knowledge and time. Thanks for letting me share this valuable journey with you.

Tears shed here. Heart bursting here. Please protect.

PS. Perhaps I shouldn’t have even mentioned the unicorns as per their safety, but there were other animals there that I will not mention and whom I did get to walk amongst and yes, it was historic even, but saddening that it was under these circumstances. I won’t divulge any more info. But know that if you don’t think there are many of a creature left, it is probably true and because of us.

*next article is reliving what it was like to travel in Rwanda


Tabytha’s Africa journeys
Part 1 – Cape Town 2020
I caught up on one of my favourite things to do, hitting up some wineries!

LIVING ON THE RESERVE
Tabytha To
Part Two – Conservation week with Lions:
Somewhere in Africa, 2020

Tabytha’s latest travels continued Prt 3 – Kigali, Rwanda

Tabytha on her Facebook