TSM24-15. Ona Gritz “Everywhere I Look” 


Their Story Matters with Sara Troy and her guest Ona Gritz, on air from April 9th

 Ona Gritz, author of the beautifully written memoir, Everywhere I Look ? With an investigator’s determination, Gritz unravels the mystery and tragedy of the murder of her sister, Andrea Susan Gritz, also known as Angie Boggs, while sharing her own awakening to loss, grief, guilt, and the truth. Her story is testament to the idea that grief can be transformative, and that the truth can truly set us free.

On January 11, 1982, Angie Boggs was brutally murdered in her home, along with her husband, Ray, and their eleven-month-old son. She was twenty-five and pregnant with their second child. Six weeks later, Angie’s body was found, stuffed in the crawlspace of the apartment she had shared with her family and her murderers.

When Angie was just a little girl called Andra, she was the first person Ona remembers loving. Gritz was nineteen when she learned of her sister’s murder. “Well, she’s dead,” their mom announced, with a crisscross slap of her hands, later remarking: “A social worker told us years ago that, with the way Andra lived her life, she wouldn’t make it to thirty.” That made Gritz angry, but she wasn’t grief stricken either. After all, she was used to being without Angie. For many years after losing her, all she felt was numb.



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When Ona Gritz was in her late forties and the only survivor of her immediate family, a succession of small events began to bring Angie back to her.  Suddenly, she was filled with questions about the disparaging view of Angie that, despite her love, she had internalized from her parents. “She’s a runaway.” Growing up, that’s what Ona would answer whenever someone asked, “Where’s your sister?” But what was Angie running from? And why did her parents keep shutting her out and sending her away?



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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 

Ona Gritz holds a Master of Arts in poetry from the creative writing program at New York University. She is the author of August Or Forever, a Reader’s Choice and Wishing Shelf finalist in middle grade fiction. Her nonfiction has appeared in BrevityThe GuardianThe New York TimesRiver TeethThe RumpusThe Utne Reader, and been named Notable in The Best American Essays and Best of the Year in Salon. Her earlier books include On the Whole: A Story of Mothering and Disability and Geode, a finalist for the Main Street Rag Poetry Book Award. She won the Poetry Archive Now Worldview 2020 Competition and has received many other honors for her poems, which have been widely anthologized. Ona lives with her husband, writer Daniel Simpson, near Philadelphia.

 https://www.onagritz.com

 https://www.instagram.com/onagritz


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TSM16-51&52 How to Handle Grief in the Holidays, with David Kessler

Their Story Matters with Sara Troy and her guest David Kessler, on air from December 20th

 One-third of the population will experience Holiday Grief  David Kessler, grief expert, gives 7 solutions for help.


holidaygrief


A loss of a loved one, or way of life, the loneliness and deep sorrow are very prevalent at this time of year, please be mind and heartful and reach out and care. 

davidk-600x399David Kessler is the #1 grief expert who has spent decades working with those whose loved ones left them broken hearted or they’ve died. He has put together the strategies below as well as a video’s to help those dealing with a loss.

Holidays are about togetherness. How do we have togetherness when the one we want to be with isn’t with us anymore?


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images-2For many people, holidays are the hardest part of grieving. When you have lost someone special, your world loses its celebratory qualities.

Holidays only magnify the loss.

David has put together 7 strategies to help get you through the holidays.

  1. Be honest about your grief. There’s pressure to have a joyful holiday even when nothing has gone wrong in life. You’re not a Grinch, you’re in grief! Don’t feel the need to fake it or be happier than you actually are. You don’t have to have a holiday joy!!
  1. Include the loss into your holidays. The grief is there anyway. Light a candle in their honour. Dedicate the prayer before dinner to your loved one. Have everyone at the dinner table share a favourite story about your loved one that died.
  1. Take your grief online. Facebook in the new town square. Share photos of past Christmas. Also, there are many closed Facebook groups, just for those grieving. You will quickly see others are also feeling loss during the holidays.
  1. For events, always have an exit strategy. You don’t have to stay. Feel free to say, you just wanted to drop by or you have another event to get to. You can even text yourself if you need to…time to go!
  1. Re-evaluate your rituals.Choose what works and doesn’t. You can even cancel a holiday. You don’t have to do those 200 Christmas cards. You don’t have to cook the dinner. Free yourself.
  1. “No” is a complete sentence.You should not have to do anything you don’t want to do. And you don’t have to explain it. “No, thank you” also works well.
  1. Pay attention to the children.They are often the forgotten grievers. We think since kids seem busy in school they are fine. Or it’s easier to focus on the adults. But children feel the grief and have less life experience and tools to deal with the loss.

By David Kessler

Books by David Kessler

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www.DavidKessler.org

 www.HolidayGrief.com

www.Holidaybreakups.com,

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