Building your business with Sara Troy and her guest Susan Young, on air from November 23rd
One thing that drives me bonkers is watching people trying to explain their business with the wrong words and delivery. Aside from feeling embarrassed, they are leaving money on the table. Every. Single. Time. Let’s clear this all up for you and get you ON TRACK for speaking with confidence, clarity, and charisma. Then you can grow the business you want — and deserve! You’ve got this! Here’s a hint: It’s not about your credentials. It’s not about your money mindset. And it’s not about your website, branding, or snappy business name. Attracting dream clients to your business is a helluva lot easier when you have the 3 V’s that open the door. Only then can you start sharing your expertise, gifts, and talent. Look, I’ve had the honor of coaching newbie entrepreneurs trying to get their first few clients to experienced speakers who coach NFL + NBA athletes and CEOs. I’ll tell you one thing that’s absolutely true. Not a drop of doubt— ALL of them have the same 3 KEY V’s at their core. Not one of the KEY V’s is ever missing. So… what are the 3 KEY V’s, you wonder? 1) Messaging that clearly shows deep VALUE to dream clients because it’s always about keeping their results in mind-not yours (It doesn’t matter if it’s widgets or wealth investments—this is ALWAYS true!) Which brings me to… 2) A story and offer that reveals the VISION of your dream clients’ desire. Heartfelt storytellers show prospects that they understand them at a deep core level. They know their wants and desires beyond a goofy avatar. It could be they want more time with family, a boat, a degree, a new partner—or a holiday bursting with gifts for the kiddos. It doesn’t matter…Which brings me to the need for… 3) An irresistible, mesmerizing, and charismatic VOICE for people who are ready to buy. You’ll infuse your natural personality in just the right way so you feel aligned, not awkward. And it works. Because it’s simply a conversation and not a pushy sales pitch. And, if you’re like some of my clients who don’t like to sell, remember this: You don’t have a viable business if money doesn’t trade hands.
The 3 KEYS may sound easy enough, right??? But if people aren’t responding to your message, it means one or more of the KEY V’s is either missing or needs tweaking. And you feel frustration, disappointment, and angst. So how do you fix this? How do you have the right KEYS to open the door (AKA sign the new client) so you can start sharing your expertise, gifts, and talent? How do you make the 3 KEY V’s work for YOU? Well… it’s WAY too long to explain in an email.
Susan is a former on-air radio news anchor. She spent 10 years as a reporter, interviewing everyone from homeless people to presidents. She also managed the Office of Radio + Television for New Jersey Gov. Christine Todd Whitman. In addition, she was a public relations director for a statewide nonprofit.
Susan is a Certified Practitioner in Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP). Through online group and private coaching, Susan brings NLP into a refreshing blend of storytelling, sales, subconscious reprogramming, and psychology into her work.
Susan has been honored as “Entrepreneur of the Year” and is one of the ‘Top 75 Badass Women on Twitter.’
Choose Positive Living with Sara Troy and her guest Duane Light, on air from November 16th
The Problem Clients often come to me with so much anxiety, sadness or anger that they feel at a loss for what to do. They are often losing sleep, and experiencing negative impacts on their relationships, work, and joy in life. This is understandable, since an important life issue is at stake for them, and the legal system can be distressing and expensive. Over my 25+ years as a licensed, holistic attorney, and training as a coach and meditation teacher, I’ve learned and developed essential tools that help my clients to become more calm, clear and courageous so they can more effectively navigate their legal issues. I’ve handled most types of legal cases, and have done dozens of mediations, arbitrations, negotiations and trials. I’ve seen witnesses, and sometimes clients, not follow the principles outlined in these tools, and end up making their cases costlier, longer and more stressful. Here are the 5 tools: 1 Graciously Pause 2 Compassionately Move Through Your Emotions 3 Re-Vision Your Legal Situation – People, Circumstance, and the Legal System 4 Gather Information / Meditate / Pray / Get Clear Guidance 5 Plan and Move Forward
Graciously Pause When our minds and hearts are racing, we can’t think straight or make good decisions. So, we first need to PAUSE. This means that when we are in any intense emotion – fear, anger, sadness, feeling lost and confused – we take a break from making decisions or taking actions. This Pause usually lasts at least one day, so we can “sleep on it” before making an important decision. Often three or more days are needed, so there’s time to calm emotions and connect to a more peaceful, enlightened place. My clients have successfully used meditation, contemplative prayer, movement, dance, yoga, nature, sacred reading, journaling, or talking it through with a spiritually oriented friend to find that place of quiet and stillness. It’s important to practice this, many times over, to retrain yourself from thinking you must do something right away. We often react quickly, such as send out a harsh email, as a way to get rid of the negative feeling, yet all we do is infuse a negative reaction into the situation and create an often-selfharming result.
Compassionately Move Through Your Emotions There are many effective methods to compassionately meet, be with, and eventually calm your emotions. This is not about stuffing, over-riding, denying or avoiding what you are feeling. In fact, these processes take some courage, a willingness to be real with ourselves. And you’ll need to invoke some strength and intention to delay at least for a while any response while in the heat of strong emotions. My suggestion is that you begin by connecting to your inner resource of peace, compassion and wisdom, however you define that. You might do this through meditation, prayer, reading sacred words, listening to sacred music, time in nature, a hot bath with candles and calming uplifting aromas – whatever works for you. This will provide some support for you before you dive in. Then I suggest that you gently feel into whatever feelings or emotions are arising (one at a time helps). Then there are processes for inner sensing, accepting, and perhaps dialoguing, to see, hear and feel what may be the source of the feeling. (My free meditation, below, can take you through an effective process). I’ve continuously found over many years of practice that once our wounded, fearful, angry or freezing parts are seen, felt, and heard in a loving way, they can relax. And we often receive an important understanding or message. The time for the emotions to calm may take minutes, a few hours, or a day or two or three. What is important is quality of the inner listening, with an approach of self-love and patience.
Re-Vision Your Legal Situation – People, Circumstances, and the Legal System When we are facing a difficult legal situation, our defenses can quickly arise. We criticize and feel angry toward or fearful of the other. These reactive defenses can lead to our injecting negative thoughts into the situation. And these usually lead to increased conflict, time, and stress.
So, Re-Visioning takes some more inner work – exploring what might be judgmental feelings inside. And, importantly, we continue to invoke our highest beliefs, values, and spiritual principles: Acceptance. Humility. Compassion. Empathy. Forgiveness. Trust in a Higher Wisdom, Love and Peace. If we can move toward seeing everyone as having a soul, a spirit, a Higher Self connected to the Divine, then we can feel more compassion for them. Gandhi did it. Jesus did it. Nelson Mandela did it. Martin Luther King, Jr. did it. And their actions changed the world. I’ve seen application of these qualities create great relief to my clients, and often create profound transformations in their cases. We can be that kind of example in the world—to those in the legal system, to our family, our friends, our community. What better place to live and represent the Divine within us? And this is so effective. If we are kind and respectful, even to someone who is angry, it tends to defuse the situation. We do the same inner work with our attitudes toward the difficult life circumstance we are facing. If we are having resistance to the way things currently are – with “should haves” and “could haves” and “I wish they wouldn’t” or “I wish they didn’t” or “why did they have to _,” then those can also generate more negative thoughts, words and actions, and unnecessary suffering for us and everyone around us. With this acceptance, not fighting reality, we are gifted a sense of peace. We are then able to proceed in a more balanced and effective way. The same holds true for our attitudes toward the legal system, judges and lawyers. I probably know more lawyer jokes than you do! (and many of them are deserved). However, if we walk into court with judgment, fear and anger toward the judge, the clerk, other attorneys and our “opponent,” not thinking we’ll be treated fairly, acting up-tight and defensive, let me tell you, that is not persuasive or effective! Imagine this instead – you walk into court like it’s your living room, nodding and smiling to the judge, the clerk, and even the other attorney and the person on the other side. You see through their external thoughts and actions to their souls, and you care for them on that deep level.
You’re relaxed, confident and friendly. I’ll tell you, when any of us raise ourselves up like this, it is a shock to the system! (in a good way). Courts are so often filled with people who are dishonest, manipulative and blaming, that when a “whole human” walks in – kind, fair and friendly – it is incredibly powerful. I’ve literally seen a light come into the courtroom when the words I and my client have spoken, calmly and truthfully, are borne out by the evidence. Most judges can see and feel who is telling the truth. It’s really a beautiful experience to see people in the courtroom affected by these expressions of truth and love. I’ve been in trials where, at some point, it becomes so obvious who is telling the truth that the judge and I look at each other, and I know the case is over! This is the experience that I deeply want for you.
Gather Information / Meditate /Pray / Get Clear Guidance Once you have worked with your emotions and attitudes, you will be better able to access that “still, quiet voice within.” You will have access to higher wisdom, higher truth, and more clear guidance on steps you can take to be as strong as needed, while also moving toward peaceful resolution. You are now ready to gather necessary information. That includes facts and evidence you may need for your case, and some understanding of the laws and procedures that apply. If you are representing yourself in your legal issue, then you should at minimum do some research online. I often recommend Nolo.com books for a good overview of law and procedure (they have books and materials on over 150 types of legal issues). Even if you have an attorney, it’s best for you to be more informed as a client. You might also consult more than one attorney, or people with experience or expertise in your type of issue (doctor, accountant, etc.). Some attorneys will act as your coach for you. For the meditation / prayer stage, one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Marinda Macpherson, counsels us to “come before God with empty hands.”
5, Plan and Move Forward
Only after we have attained some degree of inner calm and peace, compassionately met our emotions, re-visioned our attitudes and feelings about people, the situation and the legal system, and taken time to seek higher guidance, do we plan next steps and take action. Planning is best done on several levels, including: (a) The big picture. How do I want to BE in this situation? What kind of example do I want to set for my family, friends and community? (b) This specific life issue: What would be the highest outcome, on a soul/spirit and practical levels, for everyone involved? (c) The next significant stage in this process: This might be in the next month or three months. What is most important to focus on right now? What are reasonable goals? With my new approach of being compassionate, defusing tension, and raising the vibration, how can I reach out, how can I show some empathy, respect and care to everyone involved, while also being strong and taking care of myself? (d) The next week or two: What can I do on a personal level to ground these attitudes and practices of humility, respect, compassion, forgiveness, trust, and prayer or meditation? What can I do right now to begin to shift the energy and focus? Write an email or letter? Talk to my attorney about how I want to proceed, moving from “war” to “peace with strength?” Where can I find support from specific family members, friends, teachers or spiritual resources to help me ground more in this approach?
6. Peace in the Law 6 That means relaxing, even if temporarily, our judgments, criticisms, pain, anger, fears, plans, and whatever else is churning in heart and mind. We can then approach the Divine with empty hands, in humility, completely open to receive guidance. This also means letting rest, at least for this time, our preconceptions about what would be the best way forward or even the best outcome. If we believe that there is a higher truth or wisdom, then we need to “empty our cup” so it can be filled, and we can be guided. Humility, surrender, and trust serve us best here.
7. Peace in the Law 7 (e) Today: What can I do today to connect to my Inner Peace, compassionately meet my emotions, re-vision my legal situation, gather needed practical information and seek higher guidance, so I can effectively move forward? Rinse and Repeat! Make sure you keep cycling back through all 5 of these Skills for every major decision and action. The most important to train yourself in is the first part of Tool #1 – The GRACIOUS PAUSE – and then take time to find your Ground of Peace, Compassion, and Wisdom before taking any important action. I wish you the best in your personal life as well as for your legal issue. And let me know if I can help you through personal coaching or my weekly low-cost online holistic coaching call.
Beginning November 10, 2021, I’ll host a weekly Zoom call through my
DISTRESS TO SUCCESS: Holistic Legal Coaching with Duane Light, JD
private Members group. I’ll answer questions that are emailed to me at least
a day in advance, selecting from the most universal or relevant each week.
To find out more and take advantage of my special launch price of just
$29/month, available until December 1, 2021, click this link:
https://peaceinthelaw.kartra.com/page/Transformative-LegalCoaching
Offerings for Further Support Personal Coaching from me? Rarely is a legal problem purely legal. Almost all disputes involve emotional and interpersonal dynamics. If you are in a middle of a difficult legal situation, I currently have space for five more clients. To sign up for a free 45 minute Empower Your Case phone or zoom call, where we will explore whether it would be beneficial for you to work with me, click this link: Weekly Holistic Legal Coaching onlin
Disclaimer: This material does not constitute legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship. When you are making important legal decisions or taking action, please consult an attorney. By following these steps, I cannot guarantee success in any life or legal situation, or guarantee the actions of any third person, company or government agency.
Author William Halal PHD offers up his uniquely powerful perspective on how to understand our world…
Beyond Knowledge Lies the Triumph of Human Spirit. The Knowledge Age of the past two decades is passing today as the digital revolution and artificial intelligence replace knowledge work. Halal’s study of social evolution explains how this marks the passage to a new frontier beyond the knowledge that is poorly understood – an “Age of Consciousness” is here. But more pandemics, climate change, gross inequality, gridlock, and other threats form a “Crisis of Maturity” that is blocking this historic transformation.
This book provides a wealth of evidence and leading examples of an emerging “global consciousness” now driving the world to grow up, resolve this global crisis and develop a sustainable world order – or perish. With foresight and hard work, we could see the triumph of the human spirit, once again.
At the heart of Mr. Halal’s book are 3 principles discussed at length within:
1. Why Consciousness is Today’s Next Step in Social Evolution 2. What is the Crisis of Global Maturity 3. How Mental/Spiritual Revolution is Likely
William Halal is a seasoned educator and expert with extensive writing, multiple awards, and other credentials and is available to speak on a myriad of issues affecting us today including the recent Facebook shut down, how media messaging is impacting the average citizen’s opinion of the world and his work as a futurist in predicting major global events including the pandemic.
Halal is Professor Emeritus at George Washington University, Washington, DC, with degrees from Purdue and UC Berkeley. Prof. Halal has published 7 books and hundreds of articles, consults to corporations and governments, and is a frequent speaker, once substituting for Peter Drucker. Bill also served as a major in the US Air Force, an aerospace engineer on the Apollo Program and a business manager in Silicon Valley. He received the 1977 Mitchell Prize ($10,000) for his article “Beyond the Profit-Motive,” and another article, “Through the MegaCrisis,” was awarded Outstanding Paper of 2013. Halal was cited by the Encyclopedia of the Future as one of the top 100 futurists in the world.
Sara’s View Of Life with Sara Troy, on air from November 16th
Does a place matter? Should we find our self-discovery ourselves from within and not care about our environment? A good vibrational space matters to me, a place that exudes tranquility and deep peace, allows me to find it within myself.
I believe that a place that has good vibrations helps us go within and see our selves more deeply. I live on Vancouver Island where the vibrations are so warm and inviting. Here I have found a peace that makes me feel open and tranquil and embracive of all that is possible.
Are you living in a place that welcomes you and makes you feel free and grounded? Is it a place that allows you to grow and become yourself? ARE YOU LIVING IN GOOD VIBRATIONS?
A few holistic case examples How treating an IRS agent as a friend disappeared the IRS debt From my client SF: I am a counselor. In 2002, I had a beautiful and profound outcome with an IRS tax issue, based on an “enlightened” approach suggested to me by my friend and Holistic Attorney Duane Light. When I first spoke to Duane, I was afraid of the IRS and what they might do to in response to my outstanding IRS debt. I didn’t know what to do and was especially afraid of calling them. I called Duane, and he gave me guidance to approach the IRS agents with an open heart, honesty and compassion. He suggested that I “treat the agent as a friend in the making.” He told me that the average job turnover in the IRS is 9 months, and that many of these individuals are struggling with their work and rarely get to experience compassion and care from someone on the other end of the phone line. After meditating and praying until I became calm, and when I sincerely felt that I could care for the person on the other end of the line, I made the call. My heart was open toward the IRS agent, and I know he felt that. I was able to be friendly, direct and truthful about my financial situation. Amazingly, the agent reclassified my debts as uncollectible! I continued to stay in contact with them over the years, and all my dealings with the IRS since that time have been completely benign and full of good will. The work that Duane did with me has changed the nature of my relationships with people in positions of authority that used to intimidate me, such as the IRS and insurance adjustors. It’s just completely revolutionized the reactions and the results that I get from those people, in an atmosphere of fellowship with them. It didn’t just change a skill set, it changed a mindset for me and opened my heart to people that I had been afraid of. I have made reference to the benefits of the principals I learned from Duane to people often since that time. So the benefits have continued to ripple out and help others. The principals upon which his work is based are so solid and grounded in essential truths that I feel there’s been no diluting of their potency over the years.
How a client was able to come to peace while administering an estate and dealing with a combative relative Kim’s dear brother died, and she was tasked with administering the estate, including taking care of his ashes after the cremation. Kim is a very kind person.
Her nephew (her brother’s son) was having a very troubled time in his life, involving drugs and a lot of anger. He and his dad’s wife started to cause problems. They fought release of the ashes to Kim, even though she was going to fulfill her brother’s wishes. In Kim and my discussions, we decided to split the ashes. The son also created problems around the accounting, asking for every receipt and charge. Estates are rarely perfectly managed, and this put Kim through many hours of pretty useless work – the amounts were so small. And then there were the yelling and blaming phone conversations, that Kim finally had to stop allowing. Kim and I worked on how to communicate with him, mostly by emails. We talked about her love for him, in his core as a good person, and how helpful it would be for her peace of mind to forgive him, and release any further desire to change him. This took some time, but Kim eventually came to more peace with the situation. She continued to love her nephew, and also create healthy separation so she would not be emotionally and mentally abused by him. In doing this kind of inner work for ourselves, we can’t expect that others will always change. We hope for that, but this holistic approach is first and foremost about our finding our peace of mind, our strong center, and moving forward as effectively as we can from there. Kim wrote the following to me, near the end of the process: “Duane, at times it has been difficult for me to maintain a balanced, loving stance in this situation rather than attempting to make things “right.” I feel a sense of peace to know that you are involved.”
How a painful case settled on the day of trial, because of one sincere, kind statement I was approached by a woman who was in the midst of a law case against a former frien and business partner. Ms. W’s current attorney was the high-stress type. This attorney was handling the case in an anxiety-laden way, and this added to Ms. W’s stress. (It’s not a good sign when your own attorney increases your anxiety!). The former best friends had decided to work together on a property development project, with the friend investing several hundred thousand dollars. Due in part to bad management on my client’s part, and also the real estate crash of 2007, the project failed. Each person angrily blamed the other, and the lawsuit started. By the time I came into the case, trial was only a few weeks away. I dove into five boxes of documents and prepared all necessary trial pleadings. As I was reading, I saw that the defendant, Ms. W’s former friend, was a nurse and had created a nonprofit to bring health services to the poor. I wrote the defendant’s lawyer an email the day before trial, saying that I saw that his client was doing very good work in the world, and that it would be nice if the case could settle so she could get back to her wonderful service. This was completely sincere on my part (these statements need to be sincere – this is not a “technique”). Trial was to start the next morning at 9 a.m.. I arrived with my client and we set up on our side. The former friend, now defendant, then walked across the courtroom to speak with me. This is exceeding rare! She told me that she felt that I was an honorable man, and because I was there she was willing to discuss settlement! The judge gave us time to talk, and the case settled within an hour. Later, this defendant contacted me about some details for wrapping up the case. She thanked me again for my approach to the case that helped it resolve peacefully. This is one of many, many examples where some simple recognizing of the Other, and sincere, kind communication, softens the conflict and creates the opportunity for resolution.
5 Essential Skills to Resolve Any Legal Issue How to Powerfully Navigate Your Legal Challenges with Calm, Clarity and Kindness Duane Light, JD
Offerings for Further Support Personal Coaching from me? Rarely is a legal problem purely legal. Almost all disputes involve emotional and interpersonal dynamics. If you are in a middle of a difficult legal situation, I currently have space for five more clients.
To sign up for a free 45 minute Empowerment over Your Case phone or zoom call, where we will explore whether it would be beneficial for you to work with me, click this link: https://www.peaceinthelaw.com/coaching Weekly Holistic Legal Coaching online
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