Sara’s View of Life, with Sara Troy, on air from April 21st.
In my thirties, life wasn’t something I was simply living—it was something I was holding together. On the outside, it looked like I was doing it all: raising my now 3 children, building businesses, clothing shop called Tabytha’s Wear Unusual, creating opportunities, moving between places, traveling back into England and the States. There was movement, there was momentum, there was creation. But beneath it all… there was a constant stretching of self.
This was the decade where two more children came into my life, Tyler and Natasha, Tabytha was born in my 20’s, and motherhood became not just a role, but a full immersion. My heart expanded, yes—but so did the responsibility. There was no pause button. No time to sit and ask, “How am I doing?” because life demanded that I keep going, keep providing, keep showing up.
Opening the dress store was an expression of something inside me that needed to come alive. It wasn’t just about fashion—it was about identity, about helping people feel seen, feel confident, feel something more in themselves. But behind the scenes, it was long hours, financial pressure, constant problem-solving, like a robbery that took all my stock. Then came the restaurant—another leap, another layer of responsibility. Feeding people, serving people, managing people… all while still being a mother first.
And that’s where the real story sits.
Because no matter what I built out there, I was always being pulled in here—home, children, needs, emotions. I was living in that constant tension between nurturing others and trying not to lose myself in the process. There were moments of exhaustion so deep that I didn’t even recognize it as exhaustion anymore—it just became normal.
There were questions… quiet ones… that didn’t always have space to be heard.
“Who am I in all of this?”
“Where do I fit in my own life?”
“Is this what it’s meant to be?”
“am I here only to serves others at my cost”?
But you don’t stop. Not when you have children. Not when people rely on you. So you keep going. You adapt. You become stronger—not because you choose to, but because you have to, and because your children were worth it.
And yet… within all that pressure, something else was happening.
I was learning resilience—not the kind that looks strong on the outside, but the kind that keeps you going when you feel like you’re falling apart inside. I was learning how to navigate people, how to read energy, how to respond, how to hold space—even when I didn’t know that’s what I was doing at the time.
I was also learning that doing everything… doesn’t mean you are fulfilled.
This decade taught me capability. It taught me endurance. It taught me how much I could carry. But it also quietly showed me the cracks—the places where I had abandoned myself in order to keep everything else afloat.
And that… is the deeper truth of my thirties.
It wasn’t just about raising children or trying to run a businesses or moving through life—it was about slowly realizing that somewhere in all of that doing… I had lost connection with me.
This one… this carries weight
This is the “I held it all together… but at what cost?” decade.
And that realization… would become the doorway to the next decade.
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