For me No, I can’t, it is very hard to come out of a dark cloud and the feeling of despair. For me I know it is a case of chemical imbalance which takes me over and eats away at my gut and very being.
People see me as someone who is always upbeat positive and with a believing of living life, only some know of my darkness that I live in. Many do not want to know, they like the person who goes after life and believes in what is possible no matter how many times I get knocked down. It is not that they don’t care but that they do not know what to say or do about it when I am in darkness.
I discovered through my Wise Health host Suma Nathan on Self Discovery Radio a product a natural nutrient called Q96 that feeds the brain and rebalances our equilibrium. This product works and for 4 months I kept my anxiety at bay. Even though physiatrist are finally understanding the benefits to this nutrient, it is still far from the main stream and supported by medical. It was great having the 4 months of anxiety and depression gone, and no matter what family crises, running a radio station, renewing a business, finding a new home etc., it got me through and for that I am grateful.
It is not all bad, something always good comes out of it if we survive it, I got offered a radio show 6.5 years ago that set me on this path that came from my depression, go figure. Comedians get their material from those dark places, it is just sometimes the darkness is too much and you can’t find your way back home. We have to be in purpose or we look at our lives as useless, we have to know we count or why be here and when in the darkness, there is no warmth no hand no touch to make you feel less alone, only the cold dark.
I am not like this all the time, it comes in waves, we do feel the pain in our bodies and mind soul and heart, it all hurts, sleep is so very important not so easy to do when you’re so down, or it is all you can do and not wake up to any possibility as your just too tried. There are many modalities that can help, this nutrient Q96, meditation, yoga, walks, dancing singing living, if you can overcome the pain enough. When in this state it is so very important that you be active in any way, find a purpose, make yourself do something, put yourself around people that care, understand it is hard to be around jolly people if you feel no joy within, do not take it personally for we appreciate your efforts.
Removing yourself from your direct pain is the key, go to a movie that removes you from you, do a sport, go for a run, help out somewhere, help someone else, that is what I love to do and it gives me a reason to still be here. Depending on if your nutrient low or struggling with mood swings that consume you, there is always an answer, look to your diet it is a key for your recovery. For me always has to be natural, I know that antidepressants make me worse and do not help in my recovery. I have to be natural, focusing and doing something outside of myself, I guess that is why I do the radio, I interview people who have overcome and I celebrate their D.I.V.A (dreams, inspirations, visions, aspirations) as it helps me find my own, plus I am so inspired by what they all bring to the table that the pride I have in my hosts and what the station stand for is a reason to fight this ugly disorder completely.
So I will overcome, I always do, time to be productive and override the pain, I have every reason to live as I have a purpose that is so much bigger than I, and knowing that these shows we do is helping people around the world find their own strength light and purpose is a reason to keep on fighting, even though I may need some help from time to time.
SO please don’t judge us for what we do, for sometimes it is out of our control, don’t tell us to snap out of it or be too aggressive with your solution, understand, anxiety and depression do HURT so help us heal with love support and belief in us and help us see the joy of life again so we may find the light once more.
I have done many shows on this from anti-bullying to featuring the Q96 and its results, you can find them at mental-challenges-shows
Don’t judge don’t demand just shed some light and help us back, please.
Always a believer
Sara Troy.
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