Sara Troy with Saras View of Life, aired from November 10th-on.
Loneliness is a silent killer. Being forgotten, ignored, or simply unseen does real harm — not only to our seniors, but also to our homeless community members and those in major life transitions. When someone has shared a life with a partner and that person is suddenly gone, it leaves a space no one else can fill. What they often long for most is simple, daily human interaction.
Loneliness is a complex and deeply personal experience. It isn’t just being physically alone — it’s feeling emotionally disconnected, misunderstood, or invisible, even in a crowd. It may emerge from grief, from a move to a new place, from aging, or from the struggle to build meaningful relationships. For some, loneliness passes quickly. But for others, it lingers and weighs heavily, affecting both mental and physical wellbeing. At the same time, loneliness can invite reflection — a chance to understand our needs more clearly and to grow from within.
I may be social and interactive, yet I know loneliness too. I know what it feels like to wonder if anyone cares whether you live or die. That’s why we must not turn our backs on those who are struggling — whether they are elders or individuals facing hardship.
Instead, let us bridge the generations. Let us allow youth to learn from the wisdom of those who have lived long and full lives — and let elders glimpse the future through the eyes of tomorrow’s leaders. In connection, both are enriched. In community, no one has to feel alone.
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Take a look at these videos and be the change they need.
What can be done to bridge that gap between being alone and reaching out to society? Here is one marvelous idea that also bridges the gap between youth and their elders.
Let us not forget anyone this Christmas. Let us not leave anyone alone, PLEASE.
Here are 7 tips to help you protect your aging parents from some of the risks of loneliness.
1. Maintain frequent contact. Even if you’re used to calling Mom or Dad on a monthly basis or less, it’s time to increase the frequency. If they’ve hit a milestone birthday, lost a spouse or other important person, or can’t drive any longer, they need more contact. You don’t need any special reason. Just make it a regular thing and call often. My husband calls his 90-year-old mom, Alice every day. She’s independent and gets out a lot, but she still needs to hear his voice.
2. Visit in person at regular intervals. Not only is it better than a call because you can see what is going on, but it is also best for the senior to see you, get a hug from you or feel the benefit of your physical presence. If distance and time make this a challenge, consider using Skype(TM), or another video to make contact a visible event. If your aging parent is difficult and this is not enjoyable for you, keep it brief, but make it regular.
3. Check out community resources for elders where your parent lives. Most urban and suburban areas have senior centers with good opportunities to connect and make friends. Entertainment and social games such as bingo are offered. If your aging parent was never a “joiner”, you can at least encourage him or her to give it a try. You can accompany your loved one to an event for seniors, arrange transportation or otherwise facilitate the process. Getting started in making connections with some support may turn a shy and lonely elder into a happier one.
4. Take your aging parent to events she may enjoy. Concerts, theater, community festivals, comedy, and other social activities are best enjoyed with company. If your parent has you to go with him, he may have a chance to do things he could never do alone. Start with things your parent has liked in the past, locate some doing your online research and offer to get tickets, and arrange transportation.
5. Ask your aging parent questions about such things as lottery entries and contests. Some elders become quite addicted to entering things like these and can’t tell a legitimate lotto game from a ripoff scheme. If you are available in person, check the mail and the contest entry forms. Look for phony offers of “prizes” or letters saying “you’ve won!”. When there are strings attached, such as having to pay fees to get winnings, it is not legitimate.
6. For distance caregivers, consider hiring a geriatric care manager to check in on your aging parent at regular intervals. You don’t have to have a housebound elder to use a geriatric care manager. These professionals are often nurses or social workers, experienced in matching the elder’s needs to community resources for improved socialization. They can find the activities, work out the logistics and go with the elder in your place if you are far away.
7. Consider teaching your elder to use technology to maintain connections. A computer with a camera is a bridge to anyone in the family. Even an aging parent who has never touched a computer before can learn if willing. Alice learned to use the internet at age 86 to pay her bills. Now, she’s on it every day. If she can’t find something she wants, she uses Google GOOG +0.27%. It has opened a world to her. If you’re not good at teaching, perhaps a kind grandchild will do the job or you can get grandma to attend a first timer’s computer class. From our experience, the effort is so worth it
WE ARE THE DIFFERENCE THEY NEED
Beware of the horrors of Retirement homes.
We are looking for seniors who would like to contribute to “Our Forgotten Seniors” podcast Book. For more information please go here. https://orchardofwisdom.org/our-forgotten-seniors
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